Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
Subscribe now and join the conversation!
Pops and Son Conversations
Episode 4: Exploring Unconventional Success: A Father-Son Dialogue
What if your child's success came from a path you never imagined, or perhaps dreaded? Join us for a compelling conversation with my son Javin as we explore the challenges and rewards of celebrating achievements that may not fit the traditional mold. From the sensational world of OnlyFans to the perilous risks of drug dealing, we tackle the moral and practical implications of unconventional career choices. Through Javan's stories and insights, we confront the tension between financial stability and personal pride, emphasizing the need for children to be proud of their paths, not just driven by necessity.
Navigating parental expectations can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when a child's choices clash with the values we've held dear. Javin and I delve into these complexities, aiming to understand the motivations behind high-risk, high-reward careers that often carry heavy societal perceptions. We encourage open conversations, advocating for empathy and grace as we strive to reconcile familial pride with the unique journeys children undertake. The discussion touches on the hidden aspects of a parent's past that may influence these dialogues, providing a richer understanding of both personal and generational perspectives.
The heart of our conversation is the vital role of family support and unconditional love. We underscore how a nurturing, non-judgmental environment can significantly impact a child's life direction. By fostering open communication and mutual understanding, we hope to cultivate relationships that allow for growth and learning. Through Javin's experiences, we highlight the power of encouragement in altering life trajectories, reminding listeners of the profound influence family can wield. Together, we celebrate the power of love and the importance of seeing the bigger picture, with gratitude for everyone joining us on this journey of discovery.
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Okay, welcome to another edition of Pops and Son Conversations. Yeah, it's me. Your favorite Silver Fox.
Speaker 2:I got my son with me, son here, javin, ready to talk, ready to chat, ready to have a conversation with your pops? All right, let's get into it. So today's topic All right, let's get into it. So today's topic Can you celebrate your children's success, no matter the source? Whoa, yeah, so I want to get specific. Okay, so does it matter if the success comes from unconventional or controversial sources? No, you know I'm talking about now. You make a lot of money on OnlyFans. Now they making that bag, but I don't know if you want your child on that or on the corner. You know, slinging, slinging that yate.
Speaker 1:Oh man goodness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, can you celebrate that? Oh no, Well, how you deal?
Speaker 1:with that. You know you want your child to do better than you, right In all aspects. You want them to be bigger, stronger, taller, more athletic. You know better in the arts. That's what we want, because you know it's a combination of genes between the man and the woman. So you know you want your child to be that supernova if you will. And you know when it comes to that, you also have to think about decision making, like you don't want, you know, your child to put themselves in an uncompromised position, whether it is long term, whether it's short term. And so you know I would say, man, I would want you and your sisters to be successful in something that you love, something that you enjoy, something that you can be proud of, not something that you have to do to survive. And so I think that will be the difference. Now defining that. Of course you know it's going to be subjective, but you know when it boils down to it, man, I want you to be proud of what you're doing and the accomplishments that you're making, jay, okay.
Speaker 2:You know I like to hear that pops. I really do and I understand it. But I'm asking you if I was like the next El Chapo or something like that, and I was happy, I was cool with it and I was proud of that, you know what. I'm saying Like would you still be, would you? You can't. So you're telling me you're going to be like yeah, I mean, you can't really tell nobody Like you can't celebrate that.
Speaker 1:You know, of course, that puts everybody in danger, right, that puts everybody in danger, right, that puts everybody in danger. So now, you can't, you know so as far. Proud of you as a man? Yeah, absolutely. Now am I going to agree on all the decisions that you make? Absolutely not. So I'll be proud of you as a man and you doing what you have to do to stand on your own. At the same time, I will be concerned for your well-being, you know. So that would be the biggest thing. And, like you mentioned, I mean, there's some OFs, right, there's some OF women out here that's making tens of thousands of dollars a month, you know, to semi-expose themselves and to, to, to be sultry and seductive.
Speaker 1:Um, you know it's, it's tough man, um, and I'm not going to want to judge, um, but at the same time, I would hope that there is a means to an end, because you know, when you start setting your goals, I don't know if your goals would be to be a OF model or to be. You know, when you start setting your goals, I don't know if your goals would be to be an OF model Right, or to be. You know, have a certain, a certain channel, or you know certain content and things like that. I would hope that ultimately, there will be things that you want to accomplish to where you can actually remove yourself from the entity and it still provides for you.
Speaker 2:OK, that's a good point. Yeah, I think a lot of times, especially in the examples that I gave, that's like um, you know, that's that quick, fast money, but it doesn't really like you said is there's no means to an end. There's's not really an afterthought about you know quote unquote getting out of the game or what are you going to do after the money dries up. Because when you're doing those type of fast money things, you're getting the money for as long as you're doing it right. So you got to have a plan after that. You got to have a plan after that.
Speaker 2:Now my personal take on it. Of course I would never do anything that would endanger any of my family. So I don't even know how you would even find out if I was like a drug lord or something like that. You wouldn't know and I'm sure you wouldn't know if anybody was on OnlyFans. That's not something that we're going to, you know, bring to you. But if you found out, then you know. Of course there'd be some explaining to do. But on my end I don't.
Speaker 2:I like what you said about you know being proud of me as a man standing on my two and doing what I got to do to provide. But the concern part is definitely, is definitely a big deal. So, you know, if your grandson, my son, if I found out something like that, I would, I definitely would have to have a conversation and and and really understand. Like I would want to understand why, Like I don't know if you feel the same way, but I would just, especially with you know one of the conversations we had in another show about the legacy and the you know and the generational passing down the gifts and it's like, okay, if I'm working to do all this, why do you feel like you have to do something like that, as opposed to leaning in on the foundation? I've already said like that that probably would would be my, my thought process behind it.
Speaker 2:But, like you said, I'm not going to judge, because you know you're a grown man, you're a grown woman, right, and you're doing if this is what you feel like you want to do. Hopefully it's not what you feel like you need to do, though, but I'm hoping that it's more of a, a want for the time being, but I definitely would just just, you know, want to want to pick his brain and just kind of understand. Like all right, something like what are we doing like, like, you've got all these resources here, why? Why do we need to go this route? You know so, um, yeah, it's definitely gotta gotta have a conversation this route. You know so, um, yeah, it's definitely gotta gotta have a conversation on that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, everybody has their own journey, um, and that's what we have to look at, because I think all of us get to a point where in the fork, we're at a fork in the road and we can go a certain route and that route may be the safer route, or we can go another route that may be a little bit more adventurous, or, but the reward may be higher. You know the saying is high risk, high reward. At the end of the day, of course, I would want my children, my grandchildren, you know, to make some decisions that they understand how it will affect them long term, even if it's a high short term gain. You know it's so important to look at the long-term thing. And that goes with, you know, hustling. You know that goes with any type of gambling, any type of risky stuff.
Speaker 1:That may be that fine line with legal and illegal, depending on how you twist it right, right, but you know the goal I would hope and I would pray would be to position yourself to where, now that you have access to these resources, you know you can. You can go on the straight and narrow, hopefully, because you got to be honest man like Even even stripping stripping is a hustle. So you got some women. They've been stripping for 10, 15 years and you know they fell in love with it. Maybe they fell in love with the money, maybe they fell in love with the attention, maybe they fell in love with or you know, maybe it's an addiction of you know, making them feel some type of way or being in control of. If they just want to make some money, hey, I go in and get a couple of hours and I come out with a stack, couple of stacks, and then get a couple hours in and I come out with a stack, a couple of stacks. So you know everybody's situation is going to be different and you can't really tap into everybody's mind and their thought process of why they do what they do, because at the same time, I mean a lot of these industries are recession-proof Right, it's recession-proof folks. As long as truck drivers are driving Proof Word, this recession proof, folks, is still.
Speaker 1:As long as truck drivers are driving, the strip clubs will still have access to patrons. Yeah, you know, as long as you know. You know what type of brothers be up in there. You know rappers. The hood loves strip strip clubs. Yeah, that's true. When people come in from out of town, they straight to the script club see what's happening. You know you had a wings be be banging. As far as you know what I was told the wings don't hit, but you know no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I guess, for me, one of the things is, you know, every parent wants to, you know, be able to brag on their kid, or be able to. You know, just yeah, that's my boy, that's my girl, you know, when your child decides to do something and you got to take a step back and be like, okay, do I want to brag on this, do I want to, you know, if I'm out and somebody's like, yeah, you know how's your son doing, what's he? Am I going to hesitate before I'm like, well, you know, do I got to make something else up? So I guess, and it's a real thing, like people deal with it every day.
Speaker 2:But it's just one of those conversations that you just, I don't know, like, how do you even broach it? Like, for instance, is it a point where, if it goes against like your personal or moral values, and you start, start to think, like you weren't raised this way. I did, like I didn't, I didn't, you didn't see me doing any illegal things or doing anything. And then, well, you know, that kind of that kind of brings me to a different question, because I guess the the child could, could lean on the fact that they don't even know everything I did you know, so they don't even get to see what you know. I might have did some unfavorable things or maybe some things that were borderline illegal, but they don't know that.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:So maybe I should extend that same grace to them, because you know it's day life too. So I get that aspect, I do. But it's just as a parent, you know. But it's just as a parent, you know. It's just like straddling that line of like, the, the, the, the moral, the more the morality of it. And then me wanted to be so celebratory, but you gotta give me something else to to celebrate.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, other than you being a stripper or you you know you having the packs coming or something, whatever, whatever, or you gambling Like even you know what's popular right now is the sports betting, the online sports betting. And even though that's legal, you know it's still gambling at the same time. So, you know. Say my son, you know, he went big, or he, you know, my son, you know he went big, or he, you know. Becomes a professional sports, better and all his income is just straight off betting off games.
Speaker 2:You know, some people might say that's wrong, that's immoral, that's not right, but I don't know why. To me, I, I, I feel like I could celebrate that a little bit more than the stripping and the drug dealing. If you winning big off betting off games, I'm like, hey, son, what parlay do I need to put in? Help pops out. You know what I'm saying. But it's like that's still. It's not necessarily right, but to me, something like that.
Speaker 2:I could see myself being like yeah you know my son, he won big last night on that Like to me that's just a little bit more acceptable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get that. You know, I think that also. You know, for me it's it's not really anybody's business. I, when you, when you talk about you, know what you may do for a living. You know you may be an actor, but you also may sell insurance. So you also may, you know, do some other things. And you know, I don't think that it is anyone's business. So I like the fact of celebrating their success as becoming a man, a responsible man, as becoming a responsible husband, father, that type of thing, you know, and then, whatever they actually do for a living, because you know when you think about it the best examples are usually movies right, you know how you got like you said.
Speaker 1:You know you got the drug dealer, you got the drug lord or whatever.
Speaker 1:He's doing his thing, right, and he's poisoning the whole community, right, but at the same time, he's the only one giving out turkeys, he's the only one giving out gifts, he's the only one paying people's rent.
Speaker 1:He's almost like now that it cancels each other's, now that it cancels or negates the other. Not that it cancels or negates the other, but when you talk about a person's heart and you talk about their efforts and you talk about their generosity and those type of things, man, you really have to take those in consideration. And I mean, you know, and to be honest, man, certain occupations people can consider them being, you know, less favorable, right, and you know people can judge and say, ok, well, you know you in the military, so I wouldn't go and work for Uncle Sam and do what Uncle Sam tell me to do and things like that. But, man, this is your freedom on the line, like you not going to these countries and setting up shop to make sure that you know things are in place, so you know it also boils down to, I guess, a moral compass as well.
Speaker 2:I like what you said about celebrating the path to becoming a man and a path to, you know, establishing yourself, because that's really what's more important, and you kind of opened my eyes. Like you don't have to necessarily brag on what exactly it is that they do, on what exactly it is that they do, but you can brag on and be proud and celebrate, um, that final step and where they, where they got there, so that's, I think that's a really good point. Yeah, and maybe that's that's and that's. You know that might be what I was missing, because you know it's, it's, it's. I just I, I can imagine it being shocking, you know, know, if I found out some type of way, but you know, probably prior to me, knowing that I probably was already happy and proud, because I'm only seeing the benefits and I don't know necessarily what they're doing, but I know that they seem to be doing good for themselves. They got, you know they're standing on their two doing this and a third. So you know why would I be happy then? But then I find out it's something that maybe I don't necessarily agree with Also. Now I'm not happy anymore. I don't think that's right. So I agree with you on, you know, celebrating, you know the end result, and not necessarily pinpointing or being partial on what exactly it is they are doing to get there, because, like you said, it's plenty of different jobs and occupations. That people will say, or they may talk down on the plumber or the garbage man or whatever it is, but at the end of the day it's like if that man is working, providing for his family and and and standing up, walking the right path and doing everything he needs to do, then why, what does it matter exactly what he is doing? Just it matters how he's getting it done right. So, yeah, I definitely, I definitely agree with that and I just, I just just that shock factor, just to find out something like that. So it doesn't even have to be necessarily that extreme. I think we spoke about maybe the doctor path or dad's a doctor, and then they find out, you know, the son might have been saying that he was in school for that and then come to find out, nah, he's studying something completely different, like he's not even in that school.
Speaker 2:So you still have to be able to support and celebrate your child's success because, at the end of the day, it's not about you know what you want. It's about what they want and what they're comfortable with and at the end of the day, it's not your life Like it's their life. And I think that's the biggest thing because you know, as parents we have our time to live our lives and make the decisions that we want to make. So your children should also have that same grace and opportunity to make whatever decision it is, and you shouldn't be putting any extra pressure on them. You know, because it's like you know, I really want to do this, but I know my mom or my dad wants me to do this and it's not really in my heart. What I want to do Like this is what I want to do.
Speaker 2:So I think being, just being a supportive parent can go a long way and just kind of saving the and I'm not saying that you don't, because it's going to be there like the. You may feel some type of way, the judgment is going to be there, but at least have the the grace to conceal it. Know, so that it's not hindering the child or, you know, making them feel any type of way about their decisions in life, because you know, ultimately it's their life and they're going to do what makes them the happiest right. I would hope you know nobody wants to live in the shadow of. I'm only doing this because I know it's going to make my parents happy, like I don't think that's ever a good feeling and I wouldn't want to put that type of pressure on my kids either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I like that point. That's a really good point. Speaking of, let me ask you how do you feel about celebrating the effort versus celebrating the outcome? Because you know, as we spoke before, you know sometimes it's tough trying to fill in shoes, man, and you know people can get discouraged, kids can get discouraged, but when you think about it, you know, know what, if they go along with you, guiding them, right, if you say, okay, you know what, I want you to try soccer, I want you to try basketball, and they may be like I don't like it. Nah, I can see, I can see parker, like no, I don't want to do that, right, but what if he sticks with it because of you, because you know that could be a fine line with the kids growing up kind of feeling obligated to do stuff. But how do you actually feel about, you know, actually celebrating the effort versus the outcome? Because maybe he does do soccer, but he's not super good at it, but he goes through with it. How do you feel about that scenario? I?
Speaker 2:think, yeah, yeah, I agree with that. I definitely agree with celebrating the effort. See me, personally, I don't know. Actually, I think to me it's going to be kind of both. You know, definitely celebrate the hard work, definitely celebrate the dedication, definitely celebrate the hard work, definitely celebrate the dedication. But the outcome, you know, I got to take that into consideration and for me it's just going to be whether or not they are. But he was only doing it because he knows this is what dad wants me to do. Then I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:To me it's kind of like a little form of love because it's like, all right, you might not necessarily this might not be your thing, but I appreciate you trying it, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Speaker 2:It made me happy and it made me smile to see that.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's nothing wrong with that, because it's a give and take, because at some point there's going to be something that I don't necessarily want to do or that I'm too fond of that my son, you know, is going to want and I'm going to do it because you know that's son and I want to see him happy, I want to see him smile.
Speaker 2:So it's a give and take situation and I think that just leaves room to celebrate, just to celebrate overall. So, even if I disagree with the path or if it was something that you know I wasn't too fond of or I didn't like, I'm going to still celebrate it because I know it's going to take hard work and it's going to take dedication and you definitely got to applaud that. It's not like if he was just doing something, that it just came easy to him, it was just whatever. But if I see you putting that work in, I see you going grinding day to day, you know I got no, I got no choice but to but to celebrate something like that. So yeah, I definitely, definitely agree with that.
Speaker 1:OK, I would say for me. I feel like, realistically and probably speaking on the older generation, you know we, we want our kids to Not have to go through what we go through or what we went through. So sometimes we have this knowledge that we try to transfer over, and it's not always, you know, received Kids aren't always receptive. And so it's like, ok, we know what the odds are if you go this direction or if you do this thing, and so not that we don't want you to do that, but take these things in consideration in your journey or in your process, or maybe utilize this here also as a backup plan, a plan C, plan D, whatever the case is. And you know, sometimes the kids don't want to listen. I mean, let's just be real. Sometimes they just kind of want to do their own thing and once they don't necessarily get the results they want or they decide that they have to pivot, or was really unwilling to take any type of advice in the beginning because you're so adamant about what you want to do, what direction you want to go. Sometimes that may even be the influence of others, and sometimes we also see our kids following others that we're like okay, you know what we've been there, done that and we don't want our kids to have to go through that.
Speaker 1:So celebrating, um, the effort over the outcome uh, sometimes is is is tough because we know that our kids wouldn't have to go through certain hardships Right. So it's kind of tough now, supporting all day long, celebrating. It's tough, jay. It's really tough because you know we don't, we don't want you guys to have to deal with some stuff and that can go from, you know, from relationships, to uh trying a different industry, a field, uh, whatever the case is, and so that's kind of you know I guess it kind of depends. A field, whatever the case is, and so that's kind of you know, I guess it kind of depends. You know again, you know I'm in the 50, I'm in the 50-50 club, so I done seen some things and I done been through some things and I've been told some things. So you know, when you start talking about that man, that's that experience kicking in, yeah, but that's good though that experience kicking in, yeah, but that's good though.
Speaker 2:That's good because that view and that outlook is going to lend different perspective. Now, whether or not I'm going to listen, I'm speaking as soon. Whether or not I'm listening, I definitely get it. But you know me. I definitely get it. But you know me. I'm just soaking up game and I'm here to understand and take heat. That's when I never really was trying to be one of them, rebelling and going off the right. Nah, man, just put me in position, put me in place, let me know, and we're going to rock out like that. You can celebrate me. Put me in place, let me know, and we're going to rock out like that. So you know, you ain't got to worry about it. You can celebrate me, you can celebrate the effort and the hard work.
Speaker 1:Right At the end of the day, you know, each situation is unique and we have to remember, man, that we're talking about family, we're not talking about friends, we're not talking about strangers, new acquaintances. So supporting, celebrating the success of a family is always going to be important, because it's about how you make them feel that can change the trajectory of their energy, of the direction they may pivot, they may not pivot, they may do a 180, they may do a 360 and go and stay in the same direction. So we just encourage you guys to always, always, look at the bigger picture and not to be judgmental and remember that love and support will always trump every single time. So we thank you guys, man, for rocking with us Again. Pops and Son Conversations. It's your favorite silver fox, rob Malloy.
Speaker 2:I'm right here, J-Man, and we are out.
