Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
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Pops and Son Conversations
Episode 5: Redefining Responsible Parenting: The Realities of Child Support and Co-Parenting
Can financial contributions alone define responsible parenting? Join us on Pops and Son Conversations as we tackle this provocative question with your favorite hosts, Your Favorite Silver Fox Rob Malloy and his son Javan. We'll explore the intricate world of child support, examining the emotional and spiritual dynamics often overshadowed by the financial focus of child support enforcement. The discussion highlights how disagreements on childcare arrangements can lead to unintended consequences, and the importance of both parents playing an active role beyond just monetary obligations. Emotional triggers and parental decisions rooted in feelings rather than practicality are brought into the spotlight, challenging the traditional view of parenting as a mere transaction.
Our conversation then shifts to the complexities of child support enforcement, emphasizing the need for a more holistic approach. We dissect how different states calculate child support and expose systemic flaws and disparities. By focusing on the broader family context, including time spent with the child, we advocate for equitable solutions that prioritize the child's well-being. Parenting isn't just about financial contributions, and this episode makes a compelling case for considering all family dynamics and shared responsibilities when discussing child support.
In our final segment, we delve into the emotional challenges of unexpected parenthood. We shed light on the often overlooked transformations in relationships when a child enters the picture and the blame that can ensue. By questioning if a fixed monthly check truly meets a child's needs, we invite listeners to ponder what constitutes a healthy environment for raising a child. Join us for an engaging episode that promises to transform your perspective on child support, co-parenting, and the true essence of responsible parenting.
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Okay, everybody, welcome to another episode of Pops and Son Conversations, the podcast version. It's your favorite still Fox, rob Malloy.
Speaker 2:Son is here, javon, so we got another great episode lined up for you guys. Today's topic of discussion is child support enough.
Speaker 1:Whoa, I just got to pause on that one because you know so much going on. We're in 2025. We we do have a new president of the United States and you know there's a lot that's going on within the child support sector, right. So we got to have that conversation, especially as fathers, as men. You know we have friends, family constituents, business partners. You know we have friends, family constituents, business partners. You know child support plays a heavy part of what goes on nowadays. For a lot of people, that is for a lot of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't, I don't know the particular statistics, but yeah, child support there's no shortage of child support going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it seems so, man. All right, man. What do you want to tackle first, Jay?
Speaker 2:So I guess my one of the questions that I have as far as child support is it is it considered like okay, so is paying child support enough to be considered a responsible parent, right? So if I just pay my child support, I should be good, right, like, um, ain't gotta do nothing else. You got the, you got the child support. That's what it's for right man.
Speaker 1:You know, and even if you are being facetious, there's a there's a mentality out there that you know it's all about the finances and you know there's also there's also a mentality of, even though you are in the child's life, you know monetarily is not enough. So that's tough man, I mean. I know that that's a question that will be unique for each family and household man, but I think it's okay for us to tackle it because I know I've dealt with the financial aspect. When it comes to child support enforcement, okay, all right, because of course you know for me, for me dealing with it, I already know that there's a financial responsibility. So I feel like that should be within that household.
Speaker 1:If you guys aren't together, obviously there's going to be a different equation if you have two separate households. But I think that the financial aspect of child support is important. What I do not like is when a couple cannot agree to a child caring. You know child care agreement, and so now you're getting child support enforcement involved, and so that's why I think that that's the bigger issue, because you know, now you have to paint a picture to the folks. They say, right, and there's going to be two different pictures. It's going to be her version, and her version may be exaggerated. I'm just keep it 100 with you, right? That's what we're here for, and her version may be exaggerated. I'm just keeping 100 with you, right? That's what we're here for. There's a lot of times where women will decide to go to child support services from an emotional standpoint, jay, Can I go there?
Speaker 2:That's what we're here for right, okay, good.
Speaker 1:And so a lot of times let's just be real you had a child together, number one. Now, hopefully, you, you two individuals, or the two individuals, care about each other, because that's a bigger issue, true, right. So so now you have a child in this world to where you know, maybe not planned, you know, maybe too early, maybe the, maybe the parents, uh, were, you know, in a relationship or not in a relationship? You could just be bumping bellies and have a child, facts, right. And so now you have this child here, you know that the relationship wasn't strong enough for you guys to decide to be a family mother, father and child. And so now that you don't have, you no longer have that dynamic. Now it's like life without really being together, but we have to take care of this creation.
Speaker 1:And so I think you know that's the first part, and the reason why I went there is because you got to think of the emotional state of both parents before you even get to a child enforcement, because that's what it is. That's not to say child support like OK, this is already understood, what it's going to look like, because it's not. If you go to child support enforcement, I feel like a lot of times it's because she is in an emotional state and feels like he does not want to either have anything to do with her and the child or what he's doing is not enough, and so she thinks that the folks are going to go through the paperwork and maybe amp those numbers up, like let's be real, like whether you make, whether you make, whether you're a millionaire or whether you make minimum wage. If that woman goes to child support services, she's looking for them to get you.
Speaker 2:Right, so. So if OK, so under that pretense that would, that would have to be an assumption on her part that the father isn't doing as much as he could. Right, like she would have to assume that he has some, some extra somewhere, because where's the money gonna come from? I'm just, I'm just asking.
Speaker 1:That is how. That that is what I think, because you got to think about this child support enforcement does not give a damn how often he is take, how often he's spending time with that child they don't ask that right? They don't ask. Okay, well you know, is he there? Is he there emotionally for the child? Is he there spiritually? Is he there physically? No, how much does he make? Yeah, that's all they care about is calculating the worksheet, the numbers. They crunch their number cruncher man the numbers.
Speaker 2:They a number cruncher man that takes so much out of the. That's crazy because it's like you're corporatizing parenting at that point. It's like you're making it into a business, like you just said. There's so much more that goes into being a parent, father, all these like. Finance is one aspect, yes, of course, but there's so many things like. That's wild.
Speaker 1:It is wild but it is a reality. And as much as people want to get upset, well you know 200 a month ain't enough, or 300. You know, some people like they're like, hey, 3000 isn't enough. You, you even want to go to the celebrity status or the the high income. 30,000 a month is not enough for my child.
Speaker 2:That is so insane to me and I've seen the argument a couple of times, like with the celebrity scenario met financially for the child. Why do you need to have an extravagant? It may be time to downsize, or something like that. You know what I'm saying Maybe.
Speaker 2:I don't need to pay more. Maybe you should dial back on some of your expenses so that the support that you're getting will be more than enough for the child, because, at the end of the day, child support is for the child, right. It's not for the mother, or is that wrong?
Speaker 1:Well, I think. I think that child support is to address the needs of the child. Now, when you look at where that child is and how that child spends his or her time, you have to factor that in. I really don't have any qualms about, you know, when people say, well, the mom isn't using the money. I've never had that issue, I've never complained, because I feel like the mothers of my children are very responsible, are very resourceful and things like that. Now, a lot of times my issue is with the child support enforcement and the system. Now, I think that's the issue.
Speaker 1:I don't think that a guy, if he does not pay a certain amount, that he should be jailed. I think that's unlawful. His license, I think all that stuff should be. I think all that stuff should be rid of because it does not look at the personal situation and the unique situation. So, for instance, when they start doing their calculations and stuff like that, a lot of times you know they'll, they'll go off of, you know whatever documents are provided, but but that doesn't tell a story. That never tells the story. Like, matter of fact, a dude, he may be hustling, right, he may be a hustler and all his money. And what I mean by hustler is I mean all his stuff is in W2s is what I'm saying so he may be hustling and he may be, you know, a sole prop.
Speaker 1:uh, the way that he handled his business. So he just may be out here, you know, like in the streets, just hustling stuff, whatever the case is. And she may be like hustling stuff, whatever the case is, and she may be like you know what, yeah, you've been giving me 500 a month, a thousand when you can, 2000,. You know businesses up and down and stuff like that. But she may get in her feelings one day and she may be like, okay, well, you done moved this chicken with you and she brought her son over there. Like, mind you, he's still doing what he's doing for his child or his children.
Speaker 1:But looking at a personal situation now a lot of times going to seek child support, enforcement, I believe can be a vindictive situation. And the reason why I say that is because now this man is hustling right and he's able to maneuver, that's how he gets his money. But now he's on papers, as they say. And so now this dude, he may now have to go get a job, or he may, because now he may have to provide XYZ on a monthly basis, but his money may not come like that he may drop off two thousand, but then it may take him another month and a half to give her another five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1:but the enforcement is going to be like look no, six hundred dollars every month, rain, sleet or snow brother. So you, you give, you. Giving two2,000 in January does not mean that you don't drop that $600 off in February to foist.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, Right, so it's like that. I think. As far as the system, what needs to be put in place is a way for it that it can't be weaponized in that way Like, yeah, child support, you know there should be a system cool, but there shouldn't be a way for it to be, like you said, used in a vindictive way, Like it's got to be a different way to enforce it without having such serious repercussions, Like I didn't even know you could go to jail for not paying.
Speaker 1:Well, so Child support enforcement is a division within itself. It is. It is a division with itself. It is child support. Child support enforcement is not the judicial system. Because you got to think about it.
Speaker 1:You can put a support plan in place by yourself, you and the mother, like I was saying. You can be like, oh okay, what Little Timmy? You already know what I've been doing. I've been giving 1,000 here, 1,500 here, sometimes only $200, $300, but let's agree to a number, to where it's realistic. So that number, that realistic number, maybe 400 bucks.
Speaker 1:Now, 400 bucks is what we agreed to. That doesn't mean I can't do a thousand here, 1500 here, 3000, that type of thing. But OK, we agree to 400 bucks, let's put that plan and let's file that plan. Let's, let's put that plan and let's file that plan, let's, let's file that. And so we're filing that in the Supreme Court.
Speaker 1:And no, I'm not a family law attorney or anything. I just I just know what I know, right, right, and so you can put that in play. But the important part of doing that is you can also put in play what you guys agree when it comes to when little Timmy comes here, when it's summertime, and you have that stuff in play because, if something happens, there's already a directive in place that the courts can say okay, you know what. This is what you guys agreed to. So we really all we can do is enforce what's already there, versus us getting in your business and creating something for you, or having to go to a mediator, which you know all they're trying to do is get you to hurry up and figure it out.
Speaker 2:Okay, I see what you're saying. So it really just comes down to handling your business before they handle it for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly right. And I think that the bigger issue and I don't want to get too much off topic because I know there's some other directions that we should be going here to give overall subnautics of this, give overall, uh, some of this of this, but, um, I I just like to go back to the original ideology and the roots of of how we got here, because, understand, if we're, if we're talking about child support period, then we're talking about the family not being together, the family being broken up right. So that's to me that's always going to be the bigger issue is because why we're not together? But if we can't be together, then let's work it out to where it makes a whole lot of sense. And to me, I wouldn't want anybody in our business, I wouldn't want anybody calculating my income and my expenses and I definitely wouldn't want, you know, somebody calculating somebody else's. To me, that is that is the bigger part. Like you really have to, like I don't give a damn, I just want, I just want them to go after them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mentality when people do child support, well, when women specifically, yeah, because I don't recall any cases immediately of, I mean I'm sure you hear about some, but child support on the other end, the woman, parent, child support, yeah, I think it's important what you said about just the overall, because at the end of the day, you know, child support is, is not a thing if the family is, you know it's still together, if y'all remain a unit, yeah, so I think that's very important, just to you know. Try to work it out, try to you know, to stay, you know, together so that this child support thing doesn't have to become so complicated. And then, of course, if you can work out an agreement beforehand to present to the court so that you know the enforcement doesn't have to be enacted, then that's good too. But definitely, first of all, I mean, the family is just so important to the key Like you don't have to worry about none of that if you know, if you focus on the family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, and again, I think that, like you mentioned child support enforcement, which we have to be very specific because the children need to be supported, because the children need to be supported Like whether the children predominantly stay with the mom or predominantly stay with the dad child support is necessary. That child needs to have support. Now, the thing about it is we're talking right now specifically about the financial aspect of child support, because that's what child support enforcement focuses on. They want to see how much are we going to help you collect? What are the the? What is the insurance? You know what does that look like, the aspect of it which one is going to provide the insurance. You know what does that look like, the aspect of it which one is going to provide the insurance. And Because we're doing this on your behalf, we shall be collecting an administrative fee.
Speaker 1:So nobody, nobody thinks about that portion. They're just running to child support enforcement thinking, ok, we know that, yeah, he's only giving me five hundred dollars, but we know how much he makes Right On paper, and so now that five hundred may turn out to be eleven hundred, twelve hundred, they don't know until the calculations are done, because, depending on what state, sometimes I only calculate the father's income, like she can be making six figures. But as long as he makes what he makes, they're going to get that money from him. Yeah Right, georgia, we live in Georgia, so Georgia takes both incomes in consideration. To go even deeper, they look at assets as well. Jeez, they look at assets as well.
Speaker 1:They look at assets as well. Man, and is it lawful? I don't, I don't know. I don't really know if it's lawful. I think that there is a huge debate.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of advocates out here right now saying that you know the child support system itself is very flawed. I agree Right, it's very flawed. There's a lot of loopholes. Like I said, depending on, you know where you live at, you know you could be the woman, could be a millionaire and he could. He could have a minimum wage job and he still has to pay X amount of dollars. Now, whether that works for him or not, they don't care, it doesn't matter. The numbers will be presented to the administration. As far as the child support portion, child support portion, and you know, depending on if, if you fight or or you know you, you look at what's what's really real, um, you get stuck with that man until you really figure out. You know what your rights are and things like that. And the reason why I say your rights is because, again, it's only calculating the money that's it right realistically, family judge or family support advocate helping you mediate things is going to look at.
Speaker 1:OK, yeah, she makes that, he makes this, but guess what? He also, you know, has his daughter.
Speaker 2:Whenever Right.
Speaker 1:It's structured that, ok, guaranteed every other weekend or every other week, whatever, four or five months out the year, right. But let's take that into consideration, because when he has the daughter, when he has the son, he has to spend money. Come on now, right. So so they look at that. They also look at, you know, other factors in play, like what does that household look like? How many family members are in his house? How many family members are in her house? Because there may be other kids in play?
Speaker 1:So you want to stick him with $1,000 a month. But he got five kids over there at his house. She got one. So does that really make it paints a bigger picture in front of the courts so they can see realistically what does that look like? And, more importantly, if, for whatever reason, somebody violates the agreement, there is a repercussion besides him getting his license taken, besides him getting his license taken, besides him, you know, getting thrown in jail or whatever the case is. Now, if she says well, you know what, I don't like you this week, you bothering me this week, so I'm just going to keep little Aaliyah and then you know I'll let you know when you can come get her.
Speaker 2:No, it's not going like that.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, my God, you know what. And we also got to keep in mind that when we start talking about the child enforcement in that system, you got to remember that you don't. He doesn't have to, the guy doesn't have to be a legal father in order to pay support through child support. She could just say this joker is the daddy. You're guilty until proven innocent. Wow, right. So a lot of times and you know we might have to part two this, I know we're going to have to, but I can't even believe it A lot of times, and you know we might have to part two this, I know we're going to have to, but I can't even believe that A lot of times you got to think a lot of men are blindsided by child support.
Speaker 1:He could be getting his daughter, he could be getting his son regularly scheduled. He may be over there kind of kicking it and chilling, they watching TV together, you know, maybe because you know the child can't come back home or he lives out of town, whatever the case is, and you know he thinking it's all good. And five months later they talking about uh, we, we about to take 625 out your paycheck, brother. How many brothers out here have been blindsided with being slapped with child support and their active fathers. The number is astonishing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's painful man.
Speaker 1:It is. You know, even you know, with the new president and everything, I don't think that there is an executive order yet. But we're only a few days into the new presidency and Trump's talking about hey, if you want to go get your child support order through child support enforcement, you can't get money from him and then get the tax credit.
Speaker 2:You can't double dip. Double dipping, double dipping, the chip, jay yeah.
Speaker 1:You got a little bit too much dip on your tip. Hey, man, you, hey, you can't, you can't go, you can't do it, man. And you know what's also funny is you got to think about how many side deals have mothers and fathers been like okay, well, you can claim them, but just give me about, just give me a thousand. Oh yeah, yeah, right Now she'll give him a stack, but he can't claim them and give her some money.
Speaker 2:Right. Come on now. You see. That's how it is, though, and that's why I think there needs to be some reform. It's outdated. I don't know the particulars. How long has child support been around? Who? Who enacted this? Like we need to change some things around. You know it's not current. Right now it's not looking good.
Speaker 1:It's a tough situation. Now let me be very clear. There's a lot of brothers that ain't doing nothing for their kids, right? So I'm not going to argue that down. I don't have a dog in that fight. That has nothing to do with me. But that's a tough direction to go, because if you want to talk about a lot of brothers that aren't involved in their children, you have to also talk about the women that have found a way to plot on getting pregnant by men that didn't want to have a child with them, right, right and I'm not talking and I'm not talking about okay, you know, both of you guys decide to have unprotected sex, it's on your fault.
Speaker 1:No, I'm saying that there are ways, like we talk about grabbing the condom, putting it in the having the baster and getting the seat out of the condom. I mean it's just all these ways out there, or sliding the condom off. Come on, man, this is.
Speaker 2:There's some devious ways they can get it done.
Speaker 1:This is an adult conversation, right? So who's going to tell that to the child support enforcement? Like you know what? He ain't want no kid. I know he ain't want no kid, but I had told you know I had slipped the condom off while we was doing it. He ain't know, girl, the baby hit. Now it don't matter, that's what the caseworker's saying, jay.
Speaker 2:Exactly, let's get this money.
Speaker 1:Oh man, caseworker saying exactly let's get this money.
Speaker 2:Oh man, let's get a child support enforcement. Hey, let's get this money, all right, because they getting their bread and and you getting your bread, everybody getting their bread, so it don't matter it don't matter, man, it don't matter.
Speaker 1:So you know, just having that conversation about child support, support, I think, is triggering for a lot of brothers and it's triggering is triggering for a lot of women because they feel like that it it has been a wedge, just kind of going through that process now and it goes back to whatever the relationship looked like before. The child was there. Right, that's not happening anymore. Now you're not taking trips together. Somebody has to slow down, if not both of them, when a child comes into play. So think about this. Think about a younger couple, whether in their 20s, whether in their 30s or late 30s. A younger couple, whether in their 20s, whether in their 30s or late 30s a younger couple, they're having a good time, they're traveling together, they really don't have any major obligations or responsibilities maybe a dog or whatever, or the condo, hoa fees, whatever. Nothing major, right?
Speaker 1:Nothing crazy To where it's going to stop their life right, just a complete stop to where they got to slow down. So they're living it up, man, they're having a good time. Let's just say they slip up, that's the word we can use. They slip up and they have a kid. Even before having a kid the pregnancy going through that there's a blame game. I think every and we talked about this before offline.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did.
Speaker 1:There's a blame. Here's two blame games, right? First blame game could be or I should say, potential blame game is is that my job? Now, bro, you're the only one that's been stabbing that. All right, no pun intended, right? You're the only one that's been stabbing that? All right, no pun intended, right? You're the only one that's been poking it. So now that's going to cause a rift, because now she's like dude, I ain't been with nobody but you, yeah, like really, dude, like really.
Speaker 1:The other part is, dare I say, are you happy that I'm pregnant? See, they don't want to. That's a conversation that is uncomfortable, Very uncomfortable, right? So what do they say? Are you happy? Well, baby, this is going to slow down what we've been doing and this is not a planned pregnancy. We didn't be like OK, you know what? We're together for two, three years, we travel the world, we get this type of money, we create this type of wealth together because we don't have major obligations and responsibilities, and then we bring a child into into this world because we are more established mentally, physically, financially, emotionally everything we know that we want to be together and and create love yeah, that.
Speaker 1:So to me that is the. That should be a bigger argument than child support. Hey, that's good pops right.
Speaker 2:That should be it like, if you want to get mad pops.
Speaker 1:Right, that should be it. Like, if you want to get mad, be mad that you did not take your time to get to know this man. You did not take your time to get to know this woman. Do you really know them? Do you really know what they're capable of? Yeah, right, you okay. You guys been together for six months. Did you really ready to have a child together? No, you really know each really like. How much time do you think that you need to really get to know a person to know that this is the one that you want to be with, because once you start having a child, that means you want to be with them. You don't just have a child and figure it out afterwards, do you?
Speaker 2:no, and, like you said, it changes everything, it slows down. So even the you might, you might've had the perfect vision of y'all relationship and everything before the child, but once the child is there, that vision is going to look different afterwards. You don't know what it looks like. You know, especially if you didn't prepare like you said. You know financially, spiritually, all these things like you. You know it's all rainbows and unicorns and roses before the kid is there. But you know that's really a test and it shouldn't be that way.
Speaker 1:The kid shouldn't be the test of the relationship oh boy, I like it, I like that, I like that a lot. Um, um, you know you really have to look at the bigger picture. Um, when it comes to the child and what's healthy for the child, is it? Is it really money? Because and I want to pivot a little bit Is it really money? Cause your original question was, you know, was from a financial aspect, is that enough? So let's take it up a notch, okay, let's say, let's just give a decent number $3,500 a month for child support Sounds good, okay. So you're getting that. Should probably pay your rent or your mortgage, HOH fees and stuff like that to where, whatever income you got, it can go strictly to your household. Because is you really going to pay? I mean, are you really going to spend $3,500 on the child every month?
Speaker 2:That would be tough to do, okay.
Speaker 1:Every single month, that's tough.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, look, I understand the daycare, I understand clothes and stuff like that. I get it. But so again, so thirty five hundred dollars a month, child support I don't think that that's even an average number, but let's just say that that's the number that you're getting. So with that, and it covers so much, can the father just be like, ok, well, whatever you need, just get it out of that, right? In addition to that, since I'm paying thirty five hundred dollars and we're just talking about the financial aspect, then if you need to go somewhere, you can pay for a sitter. If you want to go and travel, if that, if the kid wants to spend some time, blah, blah, blah, you can get a nanny.
Speaker 1:Whatever, the case is, now you're removing the emotional support, the spiritual support, the being physically present, and then also, you know, dealing from a psychological standpoint, like where's my daddy at Right? Right standpoint, like where's my daddy at right? Right, that is a price that that, uh, that parent has to pay when we talk about the presence of that other, uh, significant parent. What my daddy at? You can't put a number on that. You can't go and buy ice cream. You can't go and buy ice cream. You can't go and buy clothes. You can't go buy the latest and greatest phone tablet.
Speaker 2:Whatever, it is the memories man.
Speaker 1:So that's what you have to really, really look at, when it comes down to it, in the balance of co-parenting, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I get what you're saying and I think that's 100% true. Like I mean to sum it up, the child support isn't enough. Just the financial child support, no, that's not enough. You know there's so much more there and I think that, while you know, just so, if we just think about a scenario where you know you do have a vindictive and I don't want to, you know, get to a negative thing, but just use the scenario, you know, if you have that, and then all she get is is the money, and the father is not there at all, like is that truly a good turnout for the child and for the mother?
Speaker 2:Is that better? Do you think that? Like no, I think that there should be a balance and a mix of both and, like we spoke about earlier, it's just so important to establish that balance beforehand, so that it's not enforced and you don't really have a choice like that or you're not blindsided by it man, yeah, is that the outcome that you really want?
Speaker 1:that that is not. That, that's good, that's good. One more thing before we wrap this up, man, I do have to address child support enforcement. You know, because people I think the women automatically think to themselves OK, child support, my child needs clothes, my child needs to eat, versus, and men are thinking, child support enforcement, mm, hmm, right, so so that's why I think the argument is moot, because they're talking about two separate situations. Right, because I've never heard a woman complain when the the father is there and gives money and gives his last, is there and gives money and gives his last. Like it's. It's different.
Speaker 1:Those are some of the sacrifices that, um, I think is overlooked when it comes to child support because, realistically, it's not just going to be about the child. In my opinion, a lot of dads, a lot of fathers, when they think of the child, they also want to make sure that the mom is good. Like you're not going to just let the mom be messed up and then the kid wearing fresh clothes. You come and take the kid, feeding the kid, letting the kid wash, shower, stuff, like that, and then bring her back to a nasty house. Right, because she's going through some things, and so everybody's situation is different. There's different scenarios. There's people that don't do nothing, and then there's some really good fathers out here that do a lot that they don't have to do. And the reason why I say they don't have to do it is because if you're no longer in that household, you're not fully responsible of what goes on over there, because you can't control that. True, right Now you can pay all the bills that you want over there because, you can't control that.
Speaker 1:True, right now you can pay all the bills that you want over there, right, but you can't stop her from uh cleophas, coming through there at 9 am when the kid is off to school. And and now you mad because every time you pass by there you see that cadillac on them things oh man now he and his feelings. Now he won't take care of the kid no more. He done cut it off. He done cut off little jameson man and jameson was living the good life, right?
Speaker 2:oh man, that's, that's that's all bad, that's all bad oh, man.
Speaker 1:So you know, knowing those two different scenarios. Child support, which is, is a must in child support enforcement, meaning you have to get a third party involved for the other parent to do what they should be doing.
Speaker 2:That is like. It's like the ideology versus the administration. It's like child support. Yeah, we know we need that.
Speaker 1:That's the right idea.
Speaker 2:Children got to be supported.
Speaker 1:And then the child enforcement is like the folks, them people yeah them folks listen, man, let's do a part two on this man, and then I think we can also address, uh, you, you know some other things, maybe the child support, uh, well, not the child support, but you know the laws that are in place. Uh, you know, you got talking about what he's talking about. So you know, we, we can get into that part, but I think that we really laid a good foundation and and we hope that our listeners are. If you can take away anything from this conversation Pops and Son conversations if you can take anything from our podcast, let's number one address the relationship of the parents first. Where are they at emotionally? Where are they at spiritually? Where is the guidance in relationship? Because you also have to take consideration. The damn kids are looking at both of y'all right now. Come on, they're looking at both of y' all on how you're handling. Look the child. Their first relationship that they ever witnessed is what Jay?
Speaker 1:The parents, the parents man. If you're talking brazy if you you talking brazy, if you talking brazy about the mom. You're like hey, man, your mom all she want, right, and you put you putting that into your son, you putting that into your, uh, daughter, and then she talking about well, what happened when you went over there? Who was over there? Who talking to? Did he spend time with you?
Speaker 2:That is so crazy. You understand what I'm saying. Using the kid as spies man.
Speaker 1:The kid is a mole. No, the kid is a kid Should not have nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1:Nothing to do with it. Look, man, let's spin the block. We'll do a part two for you guys. Look, we appreciate you rocking with us. Yes, we was talking about child support. I know it's a tough topic, but we have to deal with it. We have to be comfortable dealing with it because at some point, hopefully it's not an issue, because it's not the focus. So, that being said, hey, catch us next time. Next episode Pops and Son Conversations. It's your favorite still Fox, rob Malloy. All right, we out Yo.
