Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
Subscribe now and join the conversation!
Pops and Son Conversations
Episode 7 Part 2: A Deep Dive into Child Support Dynamics
What does it mean when child support becomes more than just a financial obligation? Join us in this episode of Pops and Son Conversations as Rob Malloy and Javan, tackle the intricate dynamics of child support that go beyond the numbers. We promise to shed light on how this critical issue can shape parental relationships and the bond with children. Discover the distinct perceptions mothers and fathers hold about child support and how the involvement of enforcement agencies can signal more than just a lack of financial support. This conversation encourages clear communication and fair arrangements to prevent emotional and financial strains when agreements collapse.
We dive deep into the challenges posed by legal enforcement, revealing how amicable agreements can spiral into an intrusive audit of financial privacy. We'll explore scenarios where personal arrangements fail, prompting agencies to scrutinize every financial move, and how this can affect your lifestyle. With candid insights, we aim to provide a balanced perspective on the contentious issue of child support, emphasizing understanding and cooperation for the benefit of all parties involved. Tune in to gain a comprehensive understanding of this multifaceted topic and how it impacts the lives of both parents and children.
Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
okay, guys, welcome back. We have another amazing episode pops and son conversations and of course, it's your favorite silver fox, rob malloy.
Speaker 2:Hey, what up pops amen yeah, son here, son, here, son here. So we got um today what we talking about um, you know what I think?
Speaker 1:I think we can finish up, um, and hit that, that next section, uh, with the child support man, let's, let's go ahead and let's wrap that conversation let's, yeah, let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, last, the last part, we got into child support. You know, is it enough? And you know we really actually got a lot. We covered a lot of ground, you know.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I learned. You put me on a few things. I learned about the difference in the enforcement and you know the actual just. You know the idea of child support, like there's a distinction there, the actual just. You know the idea of child support, like there's a distinction there. And we talked about how, you know, mothers might see it one way and fathers see it a completely different way.
Speaker 1:Okay, true that, true that you know what I like, that, jay, let's go here.
Speaker 1:I think, one of the things that we did not address, which is equally important, because all of it is important, because it affects everyone, right, so let's just talk about, you know how it affects the overall relationship of both parents and how it affects the overall relationship with the child, because going and getting, uh, you know the agency involved number one in my opinion and uh, to your point, it's basically saying that, uh, somebody ain't doing what they need to be doing from a financial standpoint. Okay, let's, let's be very clear from a financial standpoint, because you can be spending a lot of time with the kid, right, you can have it every other week or whatever the arrangement that you guys put together. You could be doing that. But if there is a certain number that is not coming into the household of the one that has the child, most often that can be an issue. Like you, you can't get the child enough to where you still got to pay something. There has to be some money involved yeah, either way it go right yeah, that's to be some money either way.
Speaker 1:So the thing about it is you may initially have an agreement of. You know what you know. You know when I get paid. You know when I get paid, babe, you know what I'm saying. Like, you know what that man is making, so you know it's going to be every paycheck I'm going to give you $150. And if he's out there, you know hustling and stuff like that legally, then you know it may be less, it may be more, so you have to come up with a number. Then you know it may be less, it may be more, so you have to come up with a number of and of course, this is uh, an agreement this isn't paperwork, right, right.
Speaker 1:so so you're doing that, but at the same time, if you don't come up with that number, uh, if something happens to where you guys don't see eye to eye and outside of the child rearing process and co-parenting process, she may feel some type of way and be like OK, you know, you thought you was good with the 150 a week or the 300.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm going to get them folks and them folks is going to basically be extremely intrusive in your lifestyle, right? So now you got eyes. Now you got eyes on what you do. Now you got eyes on your taxes, your tax returns. Now you got eyes. They're looking in the department of labor. Okay, how much money is being reported so we can use that. We can look at that. Now they send you an affidavit about hey, you better let us know what you got going on, bruh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how you signing that for Dover's man. And come on, that's too intrusive.
Speaker 2:It's intrusive, and then it's just. I mean, it's flat out, it's not fair. And I'm not saying life is fair, but I mean what other type of circumstance does default under like this type of audit of your finances? You know what I mean like, is there any like this? This is this sounds crazy to me, and especially if you're going to talk about how you're already you know you in, you're in a child's life, right, you know, just just to think about how that you know that could even occur is just's just crazy.
Speaker 2:And one of the things we didn't talk about was just how it affects the financial stability of the paying parent. So even now Because I'm thinking of a scenario where it's like, all right, you're doing everything, you've got the agreement with the parent, and maybe the agreement was enough to where you could still stash you a little bit and still make way and do the things that you need for yourself as well as for your child, but now, when the enforcement comes, now you don't even have enough to kind of to do what you need to do you can't even maneuver, you can't really yeah, you, you can't maneuver like you need right.
Speaker 1:Um man, that's a really good point, jay. So to piggyback off of that, though, you also have to look at the household is now split. If they were together Hopefully they were together what was that dynamic prior to the split? You know what I'm saying. Maybe you got the lifestyle that you guys had. Somebody had to make a little bit more. Maybe it was her, maybe she made a little bit more so that that guy, that father, can work in a specific industry. He could be a little bit more flexible to you know not be corporate, you know what I'm saying or be able to make. You know cash. Maybe you know entrepreneur type situation.
Speaker 2:Right, right, cause it balances out.
Speaker 1:Right To balance it out. And so now you know she has that, that structured income, which a lot of women have, that and need that, which is important, especially if they have the child, you know, with them the majority of the time, because there's you know, there's programs and stuff out there, Right, it looks great on paper, Right, so, yeah, cool. But again, you know that dynamic must have been, you know, he the one out there doing his thing or whatever and bringing on that why she does that. So now that they're busted up, he may now have to go to a more structured situation and that's going to push him back because, yeah, he may have been making some, you know some great money, whether it be cash or whatever the way he's doing it, but now he might have to go get a nine to five. That really is going to set him back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's going to limit him more than anything. Yeah, so now he's limited and, like you said, he has to find a new way to maneuver. And I mean one of the things that's kind of like a trickle-down effect is like, do you judge, like how do you even quantify, whether this is a better position for the dad to be in as far as his ability to provide for the kid? Like, is it better for him to be in this limited space where he has to figure out and maneuver and do all this? Or, you know, was it a better outcome when he was, like you said, like you know, getting his money as an entrepreneur?
Speaker 2:Right non-traditional right, Non-traditional ways, exactly Like I mean, these are just things that you have to, that you should try to account for before the enforcement is involved, Because still the parent has to, you know, figure it out, and then it's like everything is going to affect the kid at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:Everything is going to affect the kid at the end of the day. So when you talk about the father because of course we're both fathers, so our standpoint is going to be let's just be very clear this is a pops and son conversation. This isn't a mom and son conversation. This isn't a mom and daughter conversation. Ok, this is. This is from our point of view. So now you have to think about how can the father actually maintain an active role in the child's life now that he's on this structured child support enforcement program structured child support enforcement program.
Speaker 1:So that's why we're being very specific when we talk about the child support enforcement, right and so from let's just, let's just talk about from an emotional standpoint, what does that do to a father that has been active, right, that is doing, you know, whatever he can to make the child feel appreciated, loved. And I'm talking about time, I'm just talking about time effort, you know, being there emotionally for that child, creating milestones and memories.
Speaker 2:Naturally.
Speaker 1:And now you basically transactional, yeah that's transactional for the mom yeah, it stings because, think about it. Now he's looking at well it, now he's looking at the conversation of where is the money? That conversation is going to overshadow when you're going to pick him up. Because, think about it, if you don't pick him up but you're still dropping $2,500, I mean $2,500 a month she may not miss him because that's enough money for her to do what she needs to do.
Speaker 1:You can pay for a sitter, right, or you can take it to mom's or granddad house. Come on now, right, and then you can go do what you need to do versus. He can come every single week, two, three times a week, but if you're not paying x amount of dollars, then one of them days, one of them weeks, you're trying paying X amount of dollars in one of them days, one of them weeks, you're trying to come through and you ain't make your payment. It's like the creditor you haven't made your payment, so we suspending the access. Your account is temporarily suspended. It's a non-payment.
Speaker 2:No balance, man, you got. No, you know oh my God. Can't see the kid man, that's. But yeah, that's a conundrum Like it gets so complicated. You know that's. The only thing I know is like there's so many different scenarios and ways that it works Like there's not even a a, a, one, one, one situation. You know there's a lot of ways that it can just not be a good look. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're right, man, um, you know, but, but but we still have to, you know, try to figure this thing out. And I think if we go back to the roots again, if we go back to the roots of how this relationship started how did this child get here Then I think that the accountability goes on both parents. Like dude, I mean, that's still your child, right? Like ma'am, that's still his child. Because you got to think about the conversation, how it goes.
Speaker 1:You're not coming to pick up my baby, my baby don't need you, I'm going to be all right, me and my baby going to be good Every, every, every single situation where they're not together. In my opinion, and y'all let me know if I'm wrong, go to all my social medias, yeah, and let me know if I'm wrong. But every woman at least one time, has said me and my baby going to be all right To the father of your child, even if y'all are married. Come on, I'm not talking about two griping parents going back and forth. I'm talking about every single mother Done said Me and my baby, we going to be fine.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:Have you ever heard that before?
Speaker 2:Jay, yeah, I heard it before.
Speaker 1:And I'm not even saying directly, I'm saying indirectly yeah, all I need is the ladies to be like you know what I'm saying at least one time. Me and my baby are going to be fine. You said that to your husband. Again, it goes to again how did that child get here? Did you guys plan this pregnancy? And I say pregnancy first, because that's where the relationship starts, that's where the relationship, the baby, don't pop out and then you're like, hey, man, welcome. You should have been saying that when she was on swole, right. So that's where the relationship starts. So now you have to think about During the pregnancy period, what was the relationship like? Did you go back? And again we talked about? You guys got to go back and listen to part one when we talked about this, because we talked about the, the origin of the child and the uh relationship during the pregnancy, during the uh, when you found out you was pregnant oh, yeah, yeah, that yeah the two.
Speaker 2:What happened then?
Speaker 1:two, two different questions and reactions going on man, they're gonna have to listen to part one and then part two obviously will make a whole lot more sense for you guys. So, uh, that being said, jack man, we, we just gonna look, man, we're just gonna put a hard stop until we get a guest. We'll probably get a guest. When we talk about we'll get a, we can get a lady. You want to get a lady on here, man?
Speaker 2:yeah, I want to. I definitely want to get a mother and I want to try to find some. You know, some examples of the child support where you know father is active and paying child support and everything is good like I want to see that yeah, that's a fact we got because it's I mean, it's so much negative, like it don't got to be bad.
Speaker 2:All right, you're paying child support, but you and baby moms is good. Y'all got child agreement or whatever and there's no enforcement. Like, let's find some of that, let's try to get that in the community. Let's you know what I'm saying, because, hey, it don't always work out. We understand that, cool. But if y'all working to make sure that the kid is seeing a good example of the two parents co-parenting, hey, man, we got to salute that. We got to see more of that.
Speaker 1:I agree, hey, I agree. Look, we going to do a hard stop. We want you guys again to go ahead and check out part one. Even if you listen to this first, it's cool, but go listen to part one. We talked about child support, everything, uh that encompasses the relationship, uh, the, the mother, the father, you know, uh, co-parenting aspects of it. But yeah, when we deal with child support, of course course you know there's different aspects, but we dealt with what y'all wanted us to deal with the money, the money.
Speaker 2:The money. That's what matters, man.
Speaker 1:So look, man, hey, we appreciate you guys supporting everything Pops and Son conversations. We're going to keep doing it. We're going to keep giving you everything that you need. It's your favorite show Fox, rob and Lloyd.
Speaker 2:All right, y'all meet us here at the same time next week. Do not miss it. We out, we gone.
