Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
Subscribe now and join the conversation!
Pops and Son Conversations
The Power of Green Flags: Navigating Dating Beyond Red Flags
The dating landscape is saturated with warnings about red flags, but what about the positive signals that indicate you're on the right track? Rob and Jay break new ground in this refreshing episode by exploring the green flags that deserve more attention in our dating lives.
When someone shows genuine effort to get to know you—asking thoughtful questions and demonstrating authentic interest in your responses—that's a powerful indicator of potential compatibility. This kind of reciprocity creates balance where both people actively participate rather than one person carrying the conversational weight. As Jay points out, "When I'm getting to know a woman, I want to know what you're passionate about, your likes, your dislikes... not to transform into what that is, but because it's good to get to know the person you're interested in."
Mutual respect emerged as another crucial green flag. In a dating world where "inadvertent disrespect" has become normalized, encountering someone with the self-awareness to navigate potentially difficult situations thoughtfully stands out significantly. Alongside this, a good sense of humor and positive attitude were highlighted as qualities that make any relationship more enjoyable and sustainable.
Perhaps most importantly, the father-son duo discusses how "no pressure for commitment" signals emotional maturity. Rob emphasizes that truly knowing another person takes time: "When getting to know someone, you want to go through the seasons... each season could be longer or shorter than the other." This patient approach indicates someone who values genuine connection over relationship status validation.
The conversation concludes with profound advice about operating in your purpose to attract the right partner, rather than chasing people moving in opposite directions. Many have grown so accustomed to toxic relationships that they're suspicious when things go smoothly—but recognizing green flags might just be the key to breaking that cycle.
What green flags do you look for? Share your thoughts and subscribe for more insightful conversations that bridge generational perspectives on relationships.
Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
all right guys. Welcome back to another episode pops and son conversations.
Speaker 2:And of course, it's your favorite silver fox rob malloy and it's check three times here on the ones and twos.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, all right, you're in the booth, you in the booth. Huh, hey, I'm trying, oh man. How you feeling.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling good, pops, you know. Another day, another dollar, the birds chirping, it's good.
Speaker 1:Buzzing, right, all that you know. I have to let everybody know because let's address the elephant in the room my throat, as they say. Right, the Ebonics my throat, you know. So I'm recovering from dealing with the weather and screaming at events and celebrating and just having a good time. So you guys just bear with me. This will probably be the last episode where you hear the Raspy Rob Malloy right Double R, raspy Rob.
Speaker 2:Raspy Rob is crazy, oh man.
Speaker 1:It kind of makes you want to go on the booth and lay some tracks.
Speaker 2:MC Raspy Rob MC.
Speaker 1:Ratsby Rob MC Double R man that is funny.
Speaker 1:Oh man, so welcome everybody. We're happy that you're joining us, preferably on a Thursday, because that's when our new episodes come out, so you want to catch them fresh so that you can share them, and they can be the water cooler topics or stuff that you just share with your significant other, your son, daughter. Our content is universal, even those pops and son conversations. Everything we talk about, you can put it anywhere, you can table it anywhere and have those conversations, so that's why we enjoy it. So, uh, jay, what's lined up for today? Man, I think that we alluded maybe last episode or episode before that we was going to have a specific topic, plus a lot of people were emailing us and DMing us, so we're going to address that now. What's that topic for today, jay?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so today's topic is green flags, the green flags that you see while dating. We already know about the red flags. We talk about that enough, so on this episode, we want to highlight the good side, the bright side, the green flags that make you want to go. You don't want to stop, you want to go.
Speaker 1:On go.
Speaker 2:You know that's a different take. You don't really hear a lot of people talk about this, so I'm excited to share on this episode.
Speaker 1:You know. I wonder why, though? Because you can't be having bad times all the time. It's like you don't want people to know when you had a good experience. You know, when you're getting to know somebody, you don't want people to know that. Hey, you know what? I met a gentleman, I met a beautiful lady. We had great conversation. It was stress free, it was no pressure, like man. Where are those stories at man?
Speaker 2:Where they at, though.
Speaker 1:Where they at. So we're going to talk about the green flags and really the getting to know process, because if you don't have green flags in the getting to know process, then you need to hit the stop sign Right, you need to take a hard stop and when you do see these green flags, you know you should appreciate them. I think you should also acknowledge them and then really just just roll with that.
Speaker 1:Just roll with that. You know a lot of people will roll with you. Know someone who is. They're not, they're not sure of anyone. The benefit of the doubt, but it's. It's actually OK if you just stick to someone that is giving you the green flags to move forward. So that's what we're going to do. How do you want to start this thing off, Jerry?
Speaker 2:I'm going to start. I'll start with one of my green flags. You know my generation. We are the social media folks, the texters, the Twitter fingers. So for me, a green flag is the effort to get to know somebody. Right, okay, um, yeah, I know everybody. Everybody gets busy, we all got lives. But if you showing genuine interest in somebody, then you know it should be nothing to to be able to to hold a conversation or or give a phone call or reach out. You know, a lot of times, as men, we always have to be able to hold a conversation or give a phone call or reach out. You know, a lot of times, as men, we always have to be the guys to. You know, reach out the good morning text. They don't even like good morning texts. Now, this is crazy. The good morning text used to be the one surefire, like you know. You on my mind.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking about you, but now they saying they don't even like that, no more. But I digress. So, um, yeah, but for me, just just putting in that effort. You know the um asking me questions about what I got going on, you know, seeming genuinely interested in you know my life or or or whatever I have going, because I know me personally, when I'm, when I'm getting to know a woman, I want to know, like I want I. I ask these questions.
Speaker 2:I'm curious, I want to know what, what you're passionate about, what's your likes, what's your dislikes. Not because I want to like, mold or or transform into what that is. It's not just I'm asking because you know well for one. I want to know if you know we have some things in common, if we could be compatible. But it's also just good to to get to know the person that you, that you're interested in, right, yeah. So, um, definitely, effort is a green flag. So if I, if she's asking me you just different questions that I don't normally get asked, off the rip, I'm like, okay, all right, so you might genuinely be interested in what I got going on. Maybe you could be. You know, you could be bait, you might be bait, okay.
Speaker 1:You know what that should hold a lot of weight, because in this world, man, we're in a world of instant gratification. We're in a world, or dating space, specifically of you know. Prove to me that you're worth my time. What do you bring to the table? Date them all sis to the table. Date them all sis. I had to go to date them all sis and let that one step up.
Speaker 1:And it's really interesting the different mindsets you know, being late 40s, going into the half a century mark, which makes it sound really interesting, right? Yeah, there's a group of ladies that really want guys to show and prove, and that's okay. But when you talk about reciprocity, what does that mean for you? Because if you want a guy to go all out, show you that he's interested, show you that he's paying attention and show him that he's all in as far as showing you who he is, what is his incentive, and if you don't think that a man needs an incentive and he should just put his best foot forward, then you don't realize what competition you're against that's a good point right there, it's a great point.
Speaker 1:There are women that understand that there are some amazing men out here, just like there's amazing women. And how would I, you know, set myself apart initially? And the thing is, you know, we're not talking about matches, dollar for dollar, what's spent in dinners and gifts or things like that, but you know great energy is high stakes, like you mentioned, showing genuine interest, reciprocity, when it comes to, you know, just being present, being vulnerable, meaning okay.
Speaker 1:well, typically you know I wouldn't say this or share this or be open to this, but this is a brand new, unique opportunity. So, again, I want him to know that I'm not like any other women. You know there's women that will sit back, wait for a phone call, wait for a text message, and a day or two goes by and she'll be like hey, I've been waiting for you to call me. That man might have been in the hospital the last 12 hours Come on now.
Speaker 1:That man might be dealing with an emergency the last 12 to 18 hours, you don't know, right, but just kind of waiting around and seeing what a person's going to do, testing them. From my understanding, women don't like to be tested, right, right. So so I go through those same shenanigans to see what this guy is doing or what he's not doing. If you feel some type of way meaning, hey, you was on my mind or hey, I was just checking in, or hey, is everything OK, do it. That alone is going to separate you from a lot of women that are sitting back and waiting. And the crazy part about that, jay, is they're waiting on multiple individuals, jay. They're waiting on multiple guys to see who's going to step up. That's a lot of energy, man. That's a whole lot of energy. That's a whole lot of energy. That's a whole lot of uh, what they call rent space. That's a whole lot of space.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, dealing with free rent.
Speaker 1:Yes, free man rent free, oh man. So anyway, uh, let's, let's just uh move forward, because I know we got a lot that we want to cover um in this. So, that being said, uh yeah, green flag.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a green flag for me. I got another one, I think in this one you know, I hate to even have to say this, but it can be lacking at times mutual respect is a green flag. Just respect. Period. You know man. Respect for you know time. Respect for um. You know values, just respect. I think. A lot of times, you know there can be some disrespect going on, and and and sometimes, yeah, exactly that's what right, inadvertent disrespect. So you know, when you come across somebody that's mindful and that's self-aware, you know I didn't mean to, you know I don't want to disrespect you Let me, you know, go about this a different way. Let me figure out how I can navigate this. I think that's a green flag, you know, just having that, that consideration and being, you know, woman enough to actually admit you know that's good.
Speaker 1:That's good, that's a green flag.
Speaker 1:That is a green flag, uh, that awareness of respect and uh, and you have to be able to um channel that, because I know that there's a lot of brothers out here that may be uh, aggressive, uh, or too aggressive, um, maybe not even you know uh respectful, just because of aggression. And so sometimes, you know, women can just straight up guilty until proven innocent, like she doesn't even know who you are, your character, but maybe because of the way you look, uh, maybe because of your mannerism, maybe because of your confidence, you know she's like let me get this brother off his high horse real quick.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and it may just be because of a previous experience, that's nothing to do with what you've done Personally. Just you know there's a lot going on. A lot of sisters have a lot of stuff going on. I'm not going to lie to you, I ain't going to sugarcoat it and a lot of them do know that they wear it on their sleeve, they wear it on their face, like even trying to approach a woman, you know you coming down and to you know she can see you coming and she might not be in the mood, she might not, you know, want to be bothered.
Speaker 1:But at the same time you don't know who you're meeting. You might meet your next client, next business partner, someone who actually help you contribute um in your life, someone that might, might wind up being a really good friend, really good colleague, because you got a steak face, you brother got to navigate through that and you know I'm not that patient, jay, I'm not the guy. That's hey, baby, why are you not smiling? What can I do to help you smile? No, I'm not. No, no, man, no, I'm, hey. You need to acknowledge what you got going on, sister. You know I'll be cordial. I definitely will be, you know, uh, I'll be cordial, uh, I definitely will be, uh, you know, cool, complimentary or complimenting rather. But uh, you know, all of us need to check ourselves. Man, a kind demeanor goes a long way right, it goes along a lot further than women think. So the respect thing, I think, is really important because it's in your character. I don't think that it's necessarily learned behavior unless you consider yourself. You know, you remember the term mean girls.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's a thing.
Speaker 1:A lot of women embrace the term mean. You know I'm a mean girl, a thing. A lot of women embrace the term me. Well, you know I'm a mean girl. I don't, I I don't you know really like to talk to people and you know I'm gonna look at you. Funny, why, why, how does that benefit you know anyone? So, um, I like that man, let's, let's, let's move on. I think I have something that I just feel like goes a long way. I think a sister with a good sense of humor, a sister with a good sense of humor, understands that everything doesn't have to be serious, like no.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have to be serious, like, oh now, and that's really a kind demeanor, a kind gesture, when you know you're in the grocery store and she's like, hey, you know there's 20 of us in the line and there's no self-checkout. You know just something like that man, self-checkout. You know just something like that man, that simple, fun, non-invasive, if you will, non-intrusive, that just lets you know that, hey, man, you know what she has? Good energy, she can make any situation. You know a good one, a positive one, so I would say a good sense of humor. How do you feel about? You know a good one, a positive one, so I would say a good sense of humor. How do you feel about? You know, do you actually pay attention to a woman with a good sense of humor?
Speaker 2:Listen, Pops, I am one of those people that I love to laugh. I think laughter is one of the. What do they say? What's that phrase? It's the cure, it's one of the greatest happiness, it's some phrase? I can't think about it. But long story short, I love to laugh.
Speaker 2:So if I'm with somebody and if I'm going to know somebody and they cracking jokes and they can make me laugh or they laughing at my jokes, like not just like fake laughing, but really laughing, and we can keep laughing, Like we can just sit and that's the greatest thing ever to me. But to me it's rare, Like it's not often, that I really find somebody that has that same sense of humor as me. Oh man, so when I do, yeah, it's definitely a green flag for me If we could laugh and just be, you know, kind of goofy sometimes. I love that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it's definitely a green flag for me If we could laugh and just be, you know, kind of goofy sometimes. I love that. Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. That's really important and I think that's a commonality that people will be able to appreciate because, again, it's so simple, right, it's an opportunity to just laugh. It don't have to be anything after that. You just shared that moment, that's just a green flag. And then it's so non-intrusive that it's like, hey, well, you know what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Can we connect another time and just have some laughs in a different environment? Like to me, man, I think that'd be the flyest thing that's never happened to me. I think that would be super fly if that ever happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. So, ladies, I hope y'all listening, y'all get to get your sense of humor, man, get to get to get to comedy game Right, don't be so, don't be so uptight, laugh a little. Um, I think, another one, another green flag for me is just, in general, having, um, a positive attitude. I'm one of those people, I'm one of those silver lining people. I'm one of those, um, you know, it's, it's gonna be all right, everything's like. I'm not the, the debbie downer negative person. Yeah, you're not gonna hear me saying anything that is going to to bring the mood down. Like I'm gonna always speak, you know, into speaking to existence how I want to feel, how I want my mood to be. Because they say, you know, the more that you smile, like, if you actually smile, go through the motions of smiling, it can lift your mood, just that action right there.
Speaker 2:So having a positive attitude, you know, regardless of your circumstance, can actually pull you out of a slump, sometimes, like you can actually change. You know it's crazy how, how our, how the brain, chemistry and our minds work, but just actually going through the motions you can convince yourself and you can feel better. Like, because feelings are always temporary, they fleeting right. You don't have to feel a certain type of way if you don't want to. You could change that just by changing your attitude. And I think a lot of times people get stuck in an attitude and it can kind of be that little rain cloud over your head and then that can spread to other people. You get what I'm saying. So to me that's and I know we're not talking about red flags, that's a red flag, but a green flag is, you know, having that positive attitude. I know that when we get in a conversation you're not going to be talking about some miscellaneous stuff. That's just like oh man, why are you telling me about?
Speaker 2:this there's nothing happy or positive we can talk about. I know we all go through stuff too, but just a positive attitude, I think, goes a long way. So that's a green flag for me.
Speaker 1:I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot and I think that's really, really important, because ladies have a tendency to hold back. Let's just be real, you know, because the reason why you know that is because one of the saying is I'm going to let the man lead as if we need permission. Ain't that interesting?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I'm a let.
Speaker 1:I'm a let. Oh my God, that right there, that's a red flag. Yes, Now think about a good law, would you? Would you think you do, honey Now? So let me, let me jump into this, because I think that this particular green flag could almost literally finish the rest of this episode, because it's so important. I'm just going to go out here and say it man, no pressure for commitment is a green flag to me.
Speaker 1:When getting to know someone, you want to go through the seasons, and we know that the seasons you know fall isn't necessarily, uh, three months, spring isn't necessarily four months, so each season could be longer and shorter than the other. The reason why I think that no pressure for commitment right away means that they're not in a rush, meaning they're not looking for validation to be in a relationship or to have a man, if you will. They respect that there is a pace that you both need to be comfortable with and you both need to be patient while you're getting to know each other. You both need to be patient while you're getting to know each other. Don't get me wrong. I know that love at first sight, but I really feel like it could be lust, infatuation at first sight, because you're only seeing the external. That's all you can see right away is the external. And it takes time. That's all you can see right away is the external. And it takes time, it takes effort, uh, and it takes a intentionality when you're really getting to know a person. So I think a woman that is not pressuring for commitment is important and uh, also, you know she doesn't have that time clock.
Speaker 1:Now again, I'm a little bit older, I'm seasoned gent. So when a woman, if I'm getting to know a woman, she's like, yeah, I'm trying to get married, I want to get married in the next year, I'm like to who? You already got him in mind because you might need a year to get to know him. That's the right one. So when does the the clock start ticking? That's kind of scary, it's, it's very scary. And so you know, I think that a green flag is a woman that understands that there's a process, uh, a woman that understands that when you meet a man who is operating in his purpose, you have to align with him. And this may go over some people's head, but this is a pops and son conversation. I'm talking to my son and as a father and son conversation, and I'm talking to my son and, as a father, I'm talking on behalf of fathers, because this is something that fathers would say to their sons, and so it's important Find your purpose, operate in your purpose.
Speaker 1:Do not chase. There's no reason to chase a woman. Purpose, do not chase. There's no reason to chase a woman. There's no need to chase women, because you're going after women that are going the opposite direction as you. You want to attract the right woman. You want to attract women that appreciate who you are and what you're doing. How do you feel about that, jay?
Speaker 2:I think that's probably the best piece of advice I've heard in regards to conducting yourself as a man and navigating relationships. Truthfully, I don't think true words have been spoken, and I think that you'll find out quickly if you do the opposite. You know just how true that holds. I mean, it just makes so much sense Find your purpose, operate on your purpose and you know you won't have any words.
Speaker 1:You can't go wrong with that yeah, plus, it's something that you can literally duplicate. It's something that that you can replicate. It's something it's good advice and wisdom that you can share with your son or your daughter, because you don't want your daughter dating a man who is in a rush, who is, who is, uh, like what, what you doing, what's what you got going on, what you need me for, right? So, uh, I think that, uh, it's something we we can revisit this, um, but I do think that it's super key, super important, that we do look at these things and pay attention to it. Pay attention to green flags. You can spot red flags all the time and you ignore them. You cannot afford to ignore green flags, because a lot of people are accustomed to toxic relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So they're looking for the red flags. So, look, you know green flags like us too. Good to be true, you know. So they may not be used to a healthy process and getting to know a person, and that's something that you have to learn and be patient, but just make sure that you respect it and you implement it.
Speaker 2:Well said.
Speaker 1:Yeah, indeed, the green flag, and they think that, oh well, they just being, you know, nice or it's the representative, and oh, this, this is who this person is they are, they're representing to the best of their ability. So you know, that's something that we definitely have to keep in mind. So we appreciate you guys. Rocking with us Green flags is a thing. Speaking of flags, check three times. Let them know how they can get information to us and requests and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:All right, welcome back listeners. If you were here last week and you already know where to go. If your first time listening is right now, make sure you visit wwwpopsandsunconversationscom. That's going to be a one-stop shop to get all the info, all the updates. You can follow our social media profiles from there. You can listen to the podcast from updates. You can follow our social media profiles from there. You can listen to the podcast from there. You can ask questions. You can get involved. Hey, we want to hear what you guys have to say about the podcast. All right, we want to hear, we want to get comments, we want to get feedback. We love to get the questions from our listeners, so make sure you guys go to
