Black Santa, Hot Girl Summer, And That Office Party You Should Probably Skip

December can turn a light vibe into a high‑stakes situation fast. We dive into the real dynamics of dating during the holidays—why the season pushes labels, how gift pressure skews judgment, and where family and office invites send signals you might not intend. From Pops’ mission-first “Santa season” schedule to Javen’s parent-first priorities, we map out sane boundaries you can borrow to keep your joy, your budget, and your peace.

We get honest about the pre‑holiday breakup phenomenon and the expectation trap that follows when December arrives. You’ll hear practical ways to set budgets without sounding cheap, scripts to reset assumptions (“thoughtful over flashy”), and the red flags hidden in tales of past luxury gifts. We also unpack office parties as low-pressure dates that still set a public narrative, and why family dinners are rarely casual—plus how to head off that nightmare scenario where a relative invites your ex to the cookie contest.

For parents, we outline a respectful, steady pace: protect memory‑making time with your kid, loop in your co‑parent, and use brief hybrid introductions only when the relationship shows consistency. For those in service or seasonal work, we validate a purpose‑first December and offer language that keeps partners aligned instead of resentful. The throughline: holidays can accelerate expectations, but they should not rush the process. If the connection is real, it will last beyond the lights and playlists.

If you’re navigating gifts, invites, or timelines right now, this conversation gives you the words and guardrails to make better choices. Listen, share with someone who needs calm in the chaos, and hit follow so you never miss a new drop. Got a holiday dating rule we missed? Leave a review and tell us what works for you.

Chapters

• 5:23 Shoutouts & Setting The Holiday Scene
• 7:55 Most-Requested Topic: Holiday Dating
• 9:33 Pre-Holiday Breakups And Expectations
• 13:58 Do Holidays Accelerate Relationships
• 19:38 Managing Gift Pressure And Budgets
• 25:22 Office Parties: Date Or Don’t
• 29:27 Reading Holiday Signals In New Relationships
• 34:17 The Ex At Family Functions Problem
• 39:27 Business vs. Relationships In December
• 42:37 Parenting Priorities And Hybrid Intros

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 3:38

Okay, welcome back to another episode of Pops and Sun Conversations. And as always, it is your favorite Silver Fox Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_01: 3:47

And it's Javen, aka check three times.

SPEAKER_00: 3:52

Yeah. Alright, so welcome back. We are still in December. And we are having a lot of fun, man, with this holiday season. All right. Jay, uh, what you feeling like today, man? How you how you doing, brother?

SPEAKER_01: 4:08

I'm good. I'm good, you know. Cold, a little chilly, but but everything is good, man.

SPEAKER_00: 4:15

Yeah, here in uh, you know, we're we're here in Georgia, and Georgia has some of the most um bipolar or tripolar weather. So, you know, you can wake up to a cold morning, and by the afternoon, man, you got to uh take off some layers.

SPEAKER_01: 4:37

Gotta peel them off.

SPEAKER_00: 4:38

Gotta peel off the layers. Uh, so look, uh, we're we're still in December. Uh, we're talking about different things during the holidays. Uh, big shout out to the city of Stonecrest uh for having uh welcome, Black Santa. And you did a great job as Santa's helper this weekend, yeah. You did good.

SPEAKER_01: 4:57

Well, thank you, Pops. You know, I I I try, I try to do my best.

SPEAKER_00: 5:01

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So definitely uh big thanks to uh the city of Stonecrest as always, uh Merrill Cobble as Mrs. Claus. You know, what's weird about that is you know, her husband shows up every year and he kind of looks at me like, uh, you know she's just your wife for like three hours, right?

SPEAKER_01: 5:23

Gotta make it known, huh?

SPEAKER_00: 5:25

Yeah, gotta make it known, man. Uh definitely respect, man. Big respect. Uh and good looking out, Nikki. Nikki has always been a great part of the uh Stonecrest um Christmas light and uh Santa experience. So big shout out to Nikki, man. We appreciate you on that. Um we also uh had a chance to have uh a vehicle, a designated uh vehicle. So um big shout out to the dealership. We'll talk about that a little bit later. Matter of fact, just go take a look at our social media because we shouted out the dealership that was able to provide a vehicle for uh Black Santa this year. So uh starting the month out right, Jake.

SPEAKER_01: 6:07

That's right. That's right. It don't get no better.

SPEAKER_00: 6:10

Doesn't get any better. As a matter of fact, it does because today's topic is dating during the holidays. Now keep in mind this is a perspective of a pops and son, you know, fathers, um uh men, if you will. And uh dating during the holidays, now this has been the most requested topic that we've gotten in a short time, Jay. So uh I guess we got to do what we have to do.

SPEAKER_01: 6:40

Yeah, the people want what the people want, and we are here to give them what they want, right?

SPEAKER_00: 6:45

Give the people what they want, man. All right, so so what direction do you want to go when it comes to dating during the holidays? And and let me just put this out here before we even start uh digging in because we're gonna have to dig in deep on this one, right? Um, have you ever deliberately broken up with someone before the holidays to avoid just what goes on during the holidays, man? All the expectations of the gift, the spending money, possible trips, and things like that, man. And no judgment, Jay. Because I'm not, I mean, you you're 31 years old. So you might have went down, you know, 17, 18, no judgment. But have you ever, have you ever played that part?

SPEAKER_01: 7:30

Yeah, yeah, I gotta admit, you know, I I gotta be real. This is this is like high school stuff, you know, like you don't wanna, you know, you you don't want to be involved in all that. I I was kind of more like um, especially with with the gifts, because I never was really that that good with the gifts and stuff, man. I'm either over I'm either overspending or underspending. So I just, man, I'm I'm like one, one uh, I remember one girl I was dating. I'm like, yo, you already not acting right. Holidays coming up. Yeah, let's just go ahead and this this isn't working. It's not you, it's me.

SPEAKER_00: 8:12

Oh man, just go ahead and bust that all the way up, man.

SPEAKER_01: 8:15

You got to sometimes.

SPEAKER_00: 8:17

Hey, you know what? I but at the same time, I do think that there's some ladies out there that will hang around for the gift giving. You know, like a lot of times the guys, you know, they're like, you know what, this ain't even that serious, right? So I don't even want to go through all this. But then they like, you know what? Nah. Nah, let's go through this. And, you know, they they want to get through that, man, see what they can collect. Right. Make sure that that happens uh as adults, you know, as well as adolescents, man. But we we're not gonna get into too much of that, but I had to put that out there. Me, yes, I've done that as an adult man by all means, because you know, at times, you you know, there's people literally gonna be in your life for a season.

unknown: 9:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 9:03

Right. And so you don't want to extend that when it's not necessary and it's not really progressing. So you can have kind of like landmarks to where, you know what, around this time, let's just go ahead and sever ties. Uh, and that way you can kind of do whatever you want to do from there on out.

SPEAKER_01: 9:23

Right, but okay, I I hear where you're coming from, Pops, but I mean, the execution though, like, how do we even get into like do you make it obvious? Do you just come straight for it, like, yo, holidays coming up? I'm not trying to get you none. It's it's true. Or is it like, do you like try to sabotage? Like, what's that process like?

SPEAKER_00: 9:45

Like, I I don't I don't know. I I think that you know, everybody definitely has to do it their way. There's some people that are direct and some that are a little uh ambiguous, if you will. You know, but uh but I tell you what, let's let's do this, let's jump into this and we'll we'll uh spin the block, no pun intended, uh a little bit later. All right. So I I do want to talk about uh when we when we say you know the holidays coming up and and and you know you're you're navigating through uh uh getting to know somebody. Does the holidays actually speed things up to where you know that that person is like, okay, where are we? Like, because we're we're gonna be doing some things to where relationship stuff, you know, possibly vacation or meeting family members or spending a little bit more isolated time together. Like uh what do you think? Do you think that it it actually can speed things up, the the process?

SPEAKER_01: 10:47

Yeah, for sure. I think it does, just because of how family-oriented the holidays are, you know, the the magic and the love in the air and the gift giving, all these different things, you know, are especially, you know, it these are these are strong bonds are formed during these times as well. Like some a lot of people, you know, with the mental toe, you might kiss them the mistletoe and all these different things. So like it's fun and it's cool to think about, but like say y'all just started three months prior, you know, there has to be a conversation before the holidays get there, or somebody's gonna mention it. Um like you said, like I, you know, I guess it's everybody, you know, has their own way of doing it, but expectations definitely have to be managed, you know, if if y'all just started talking previously, like right before, you know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all that's hitting. Yeah, you definitely need to uh have that conversation.

SPEAKER_00: 11:49

I think that that is key, but I also don't think that that happens a whole lot. Now, you know, there's a lot of women out here that are saying, I don't want to be the go with the flow type woman. I want you to be very intentional. I want you to know the direction, I want you to lead. Amen. That's that's a strong statement to tell a stranger, right? I want you to lead. And the thing is, you're really still finding out what direction you guys should go. You're finding out what direction that she truly wants to go from a personal standpoint. You're you're looking at yourself, you have your own personal goals and you know what you want to do. So now you have to take in consideration what that looks like collectively. And I don't think women really understand what kind of process that is for a man, because when we're getting to know someone, it's almost like, okay, once we are officially together and from then on, this is going to be the standard. So do we like what's happening right now? You know, we have to really think about that because you go through ups and downs, and now you're like, okay, do I really want to do this like long term, or do we just kind of navigate and and see where this thing goes, Jay? So I I like to really say that there are some pressures, right? Now, like, not just buying gifts, right? But but there are some pressures on um somebody thinking how serious uh are we? And and and I think it does, it accelerates the expectations, but I don't think that it should accelerate the process. I think you still go through the process, you still go through the seasons, you still see what uh conflict resolution looks like, you still see what um you know how much alignment your lifestyles have, like you still have to do that because during the holidays, man, it's it's a it's a cheerful time, right? Oh yeah, ideally, it's a cheerful time. And so, you know, you want things to just be cool, you want things to be nice, you want things to be fun, but there are some navigations, man, that you really, really have to deal with. So, you know, what what do you think some of those those nav you know navigating the expectations when you don't know each other so well, man, what do you think that that that really looks like?

SPEAKER_01: 14:23

Um I think it I think it mostly just looks like you know, understanding what you know what's what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? I I don't think I think that you could explain or just have the conversation like, hey, you know, we still getting to know each other, we still dating. Um I'm not about to go all out and get you uh um, you know, uh a gold ring or a dime. Like, you know, I'm not I'm not spending a lot on this gift. You know, you know you well, but nah, man, nah, nah. You I'll definitely get you something though, but it's not gonna be anything too crazy. Like, we still we still in this. And if if we if we're only dating and still getting to know each other, it's like I don't I don't want to put all this uh you know too much stock into it because just because it's the holidays, yeah, you know, I expect you to to kind of have maybe have already, you know what I mean, maybe have plans with your family or or or whatever the case is. Like if we make it to the next season, you know, then we could talk. But you know, if if if we're if we're just dating right now, then yeah, nah, nah. And I I I don't I think that I think that's like is that real? I think I feel like that's reasonable though.

SPEAKER_00: 15:39

That is fair. Yeah, my personal opinion, I think that's fair.

SPEAKER_01: 15:42

Yeah, that's fair. Don't expect any extravagant gifts, yeah, you know, or or for me to or for me to go all out like that. Like, I'll get you some for sure, but yeah, it's not gonna be nothing too crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 15:54

Nothing too crazy. And you know what? This is where the Mr. Romance of Finance kicks in, right? So so I think about just uh you know those different types of situations. And you know, sometimes ladies will they'll they'll let you know some of the gifts they got previously. Like they may not tell you that you know it was their ex-boo or you know, somebody like that, but they will give you uh some type of idea of some of the most extravagant gifts. You know, they'll hey, you know, one one uh Christmas morning, you know, I woke up to uh you know a BMW in the driveway. I mean I mean, I don't know. I I've never heard that story before, but that is somebody's story because it happened to somebody, right? Right, you know, or maybe a you know, fur coat or a trip to New York City and a shopping spree. Like those stories do exist, and some women have no issues divulging that, right? It's it's crazy to me, right, to even give previous references of gifts. I think that's wild play, right there, man. Because if you tell me these things right now, I'm looking at you like, okay, well, well, where he at? And how far did you guys get? Because it's like the price is right, man. You walk away with the gifts, you get to leave the showcase with the gifts, man. And and then all he got was uh a story of how you look crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 17:19

Yeah, he probably don't want to tell that story either.

SPEAKER_00: 17:23

No, those stories don't get out, man, and unless, you know, unless he's he's he's telling her about what he did for her. So uh I think that's wild, man, but I do think that a conversation should be had. Um, I think that it should be um uh an easy conversation because oh yeah, you you shouldn't want anybody to do anything that they're not comfortable with, right? That there's no, okay, well, you know, if that's what you want to do. Nah, nah, nah. Actually, I don't want to do that. All right, so I'm gonna be honest with you because I want to know if you can appreciate the simple things.

SPEAKER_01: 18:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 18:03

Can you appreciate, you know, uh you know you was talking about how you had wanted this, you know, something for you know your house, uh, or if you know you're a flowers person, and or you know, the trinkets and you know, little statues or painting. You know what I mean? I think that you know, those things are very practical. But ladies, if you say it's the thought that counts, yes, then then come on with it now because you shouldn't be thinking about three K's. And I mean, three strikes and three thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_01: 18:38

I agree 100%.

SPEAKER_00: 18:39

Or three carrots, how about that? Those are the three K's right there.

SPEAKER_01: 18:42

Three carrots.

SPEAKER_00: 18:44

Yeah, you should. I don't think that you should be doing that, and I think that the brothers that are out there that are overcompensating doing stuff like that, you know, um they make it a little bit more challenging for other brothers, but it also makes it look like there's a surplus of simps. SOS, okay? Surplus of simps. All right, that's an SOS right there. Uh so you know, we just gotta keep that in mind. Obviously, every situation is gonna be different. We know that. But you know, moving on, man. Uh, you know, we talk about spending the holidays with someone. Um, I think we also mentioned uh last episode, you know, bringing the boo to uh to the to the family gathering. But also I want to throw in this Jay, how do you feel about going to her or her coming to your business holiday party? Now remember this this is fresh like a batch of collard greens, right? How do you feel you're just um you're just a few months in getting into each other, and she's like, hey Jay, you know what? My company is having a holiday function. I want you to come with a couple of months in, man. What you saying?

SPEAKER_01: 20:01

Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I'm cool with that. I don't, I don't yeah, I feel like that's a lot less, a lot less pressure, you know. You know, people are gonna bring dates to the to that type of function. And yeah, you know, I'm going as a date, and that's I'm I'm cool with that. Yeah, I I think that's fine. And I would bring I bring her to my to my business function.

SPEAKER_00: 20:24

Okay, okay, cool. Um, I think that you should proceed with caution. Okay. Let me tell you why. This should pop talking to you, right? I I think that um it's important to to really get to know that person, kind of evaluate the situation, but also keep in mind that you are setting an expectation, right? So so that may mean if if if you already letting them come or you go into their function or you letting them come to your function, now it's like, okay, well, when's the next function and what colors are we wearing, Jack? So it's gonna be hard to you know reset, I think. Uh, and I think the holiday parties are opportunities where uh people kind of show off uh what they have going on. Um, and it could be a situation where you know, Leon, Leon was a date last year. So it goes from Leon last year, it goes from Cleophys the year before, year before that it was Malik. Year before that it was Daekwan, and now it's Javen's turn.

SPEAKER_01: 23:02

Every every year it's a new one?

SPEAKER_00: 23:04

That's I mean, if they're not with somebody, just think about it. Could be, you know, somebody they're getting to know. They're not trying to go by themselves like that.

SPEAKER_01: 23:12

Yeah, that's right. That's true.

SPEAKER_00: 23:14

So I would say proceed with caution. Uh, of course, you know, when getting to know somebody, you can kind of get a good feel. And uh, and I'm not gonna lie, man, it's hard to turn down some good food. Because these companies are having these spreads, right? And it's looking real good. But I'll say this, man, because I I haven't had that issue before. A lot of times I'm you know hosting or I'm you know uh being featured if I do the Santa, if I do something, you know, really cool. Uh so I see it, you know, and I see these corporations doing these big things. And, you know, it's interesting how you know folks come in there and they bring in a date and and somebody's a little uncomfortable. Almost like, you know, uh, you know, if I didn't come, then you know, we might be over with. Almost like they had like a 38 slug to the to the noggin to come, man. It just never know, man, what those situations are and what they look like. So uh proceed with caution, do what you want to do, but don't say that your favorites hill fox did not warn you uh about that. Fair enough, right? Fair enough. All right, so let's finish this thing off, man. I want to talk about um how you know women may read the holidays um as a sign of where the relationship is actually heading, because I like talking about new experiences, getting to know someone because you know, if you're with somebody a year, you know, a year and a half, two years, and then you guys have already experienced maybe not being together that first holiday because of the family obligations or things like that. So um, you know, in your thought process, Jay, what do you what do you think a lot of women feel when they're like, you know what, I want you to, you know, spend the holidays, you know, with me, especially in a new relationship. You know, what message does that send?

SPEAKER_01: 25:21

I think it, I think it can be tricky. You know, I I think it can be tricky uh because, man, around, you know, around this time, it's like I said, it's just the love is in the air. You got all the all the Christmas movies with the happy endings and the happily ever after. Um, so I think that that tone and just the atmosphere is um, you know, definitely geared more towards like, you know, something serious. You know, people don't want to be alone during the holidays. That's number one. Like nobody wants to be alone. So um, yeah, I think that I I think that, you know, women a lot of times read they read the the the holidays as a sign of this is, you know, this is my boo. This is my this we're an item. You know what I'm saying? I don't think that they want to spend the holidays with somebody that they wouldn't want to spend multiple holidays with. Okay. You know, I don't think it's typically like a a one-off, but hey, man, I don't know. It might be some out there that's like that. Like, it's just my it's my winner, my winter man, and then I have me a summer, a summer guy, you know. I don't know. But I think for the most part, yeah, it's it's it can be real, real serious around this time. So you like you said, you got to be careful.

SPEAKER_00: 26:40

You do have to be careful, and let's be clear, man. A lot of ladies, they have hot girl summers. So this so they're not booed up during the summertime, man. That's when the options are wide open, girls' trip, grapefruits, and all kinds of stuff going on.

SPEAKER_01: 26:53

Oh, yeah. Hot girl, oh man, that's still they're still doing this.

SPEAKER_00: 26:56

It still exists, man, at all in any ages. All right, so so look, we we do have uh we did have uh a question from um a question, we do have a question for the listeners. Um, I think that it's a legitimate one. And so uh I try to talk about this on our platforms every year because I think that it's somebody's truth, and there's always some type of illustration on social media that that pops up, and I think everybody can relate. So so the questions, uh the question for the for the uh from the lit uh listeners is um how do you control your family inviting an ex or an old boo to the family event when you want to bring your new boo to the family event? Like uh, you know, I don't know, uh what do they call it? Judging uh the Christmas cookies uh contest or something like that. So, Jay, I'll let you answer that one, man. How can you control your family members from inviting the ex-boo?

SPEAKER_01: 28:01

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if you can control it other than just being like being real strict and stern. Like, y'all, don't do it. It's not happening. Like, you gotta you gotta go to that family member. And then you might even have to hit up the old boo, like, hey, you know what I mean? Even if y'all haven't talked to no, I'll be because there has to be some type of relationship there if they still cool with the family like that. So you gotta hit them up, like, hey, I just want to let you know, it might not be a good idea. I'm bringing, you know, someone to the family function. Um, and I don't know if, you know what I'm saying, you want to deal with that. But yeah, you definitely wanna, you, you gotta get ahead of it though. If there's any inkling that that might be in the forecast, you gotta, you gotta step, step ahead of that and just go ahead and nip it because what you don't want is, you know, the surprise or the disaster at the at the family function. Um but I would say also like don't don't uh don't back down. Like, don't think that because that might happen that you gotta, you know, retract, you know, your your boo. Like, nah, y'all still step. Y'all can still step. Um, it just gotta be respect, thing, man. And and hopefully the fan will respect your wishes. Hopefully. I mean. That's all I got, man. A hope and a dream.

SPEAKER_00: 29:28

A hope and a dream, man. Uh oh man, I tell you what, man, that that can be um a challenging situation. Now, I don't I don't really have that issue, man. Once uh I'm done, she probably don't want to be around me. She probably don't want to be around me anymore if we're not together. And the reason why I say that is because, you know, I'm very family-oriented, right? And so you're you're gonna feel awkward. Like, you're not gonna get close to moms like that. You're not gonna get close to sis and stuff like that to where y'all, you know, still talking and okay, it's the holiday time. Uh I'll see you there, sis. It ain't gonna be none of that, right? So um, if somebody was to do that, that would be wild to me. And guess what? I don't even know who it would be. Like, who are you inviting to where it would make sense, right? Like, you would literally have to dig deep and and uh and pick someone because you know I'm very selective in the introduction of the family like that. So and not saying that, you know, that's uh I'm a tyrant or um ruthless, but I just think that when it comes to that, um you don't want to have any awkward moments, right? Like, are you thinking about me or are you thinking about them as far as what this will look like? You gotta be thinking, okay, if she's here, what is that gonna look like? What what type of energy is that gonna be? Right? So so I have to think about it like that, man. And and the even if I if I was rebooted up, you like that? Reboot? Reboot. If I was rebooted up, she not gonna be the one uncomfortable. I'm gonna be like, hey, I don't know what she's doing here, right? Right? And so uh, and then whoever the family member that did that, I'm gonna make them feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01: 31:28

Yeah, because that's wild, right?

SPEAKER_00: 31:29

That's crazy. That's wild. It's like, come on. So so I think that to your point, you have to make it known. Like, if you have a new boo and they're coming, go ahead and make that clear. Look, uh Beyonce will be here this holiday uh weekend, and so uh Ashante, don't talk to her and don't try to get her uh up here because you know, Beyonce, Ashante, you remember gorilla, uh man. So uh yeah, I think you want to avoid that at all costs because number one, it's about the family.

SPEAKER_01: 32:10

Yeah, like this isn't a time for that.

SPEAKER_00: 32:14

It's not about the extended. So let's jump into these questions, man. Um let's wrap this thing up, man. I think that there's a question. Uh you can read that one to me, and then I'll read the question uh for you.

SPEAKER_01: 32:28

Okay. Um let's see what we got. So, Pops, how do you handle spending time or date dating during the holidays when you are Santa? You know, you you you are Santa. So, like what comes first, business or relationships?

SPEAKER_00: 32:49

Okay. Man, that that is an unfair question because it it puts me in uh a situation to where I like to have this conversation uh, you know, one-on-one versus public. But I will say this um business is gonna take precedence um because you're not going to pay me what I'm going to lose over the holiday season. Um, even though it's Santa, it it is still service, first and foremost. And then number two, it is business. And so we're talking about me having access to uh cheering up and showing love and appreciation to children, you know, to uh family members. And you never know what they have going on to where, you know, Santa popping out is gonna change, you know, their attitude, is gonna change their uh, you know, the way that they think about the holidays in a positive manner, especially if they got stuff going on. So uh the dating during the holidays, you know, not so much. Um, and even if, you know, I am dating someone on a consistent basis, uh, I'll go ahead and put that out there. Like December, it ain't happening like that. Like get in where you fit in. I ain't trying to be funny, but literally get in where you fit in, because you know, if if she has uh a purpose or mission of service, she's gonna expect me to understand, right? So if she has to go and and uh talk to different communities or she got to travel and go to different colleges or you know, whatever her mission and purpose is, and I'm like, uh, baby, can you, you know, uh stay over, you know, this week, she'll be like, excuse me, did you not see the flyer, sir? I'm gonna be across the country. You know, and so I'm not really tripping off of that. And I understand that. And uh, and again, you know, it is business. And if you really trust that person, you appreciate that. Person, you understand that they're not going anywhere. So there's gonna be a time and literally a season for everything. So that's where I'm at with that. So let me just hit you. All right. So let me ask you. So uh how do you handle holidays with a baby boy and someone wanting to spend time with you for the holidays? Um, but obviously, you know, father, father duties, father-son relationship comes first.

SPEAKER_01: 35:24

Yeah, so that's uh that's actually pretty easy. Uh time, you know, time is so precious. Um so where where I'm spending my time right now, especially because my son is the age he is, it's like, yeah, I gotta get that time in with him. Um and anybody, anybody that I'm dating, um, they already understand that. You know, so that that's not even uh that's not even really coming up. They are they can already assume what's going down. So, you know, the best you could do is wish wish us, you know, uh happy holidays and things like that. But um you know Nah, I'm being I'm just I'm just being real. Like it's like, you know, um I I'll be I'll be spending I'll be spending my my my time with them like during Christmas and things like that. Like it's it's it just goes without saying. Um there can there can be there can be you know other days and opportunities, but around the holiday times, like yeah, we we we locking in.

SPEAKER_00: 36:31

Okay. You know, I respect that. Um I think that even for me when I was much younger, uh, and actually maybe around your age, uh, your uh younger sisters, you know, were you know relatively young, uh, maybe around Parker's age. Um and and it was really important that they understood that their father's presence was there, and they did not have to have undivided attention. And so I think that that's really important that you do have somebody that understands how impressionable young kids are, um, not only about their father, but those times where you really cherish the moments and you create those memories of, you know, if you celebrate Christmas, obviously, just getting that time in and uh just relaxing, because that's that's a really relaxed time, right? No school, no work, you know, no pressure of having to do this and do that. And you can just really, like you said, lock in and and uh enjoy those bonds with your child. So I think that that's pretty cool, man. Uh I can I can respect that. But I will ask you this as we close up. What about a hybrid? Like, would you bring that person that you're dating in to, hey, you know what? I want to allow my child to see who I'm spending time with. Like, would you get like a little peep in? Like, hey, you know, how you feel about that?

SPEAKER_01: 38:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Like, that's I don't I don't have any issues with that at all. Um, you know, as and then also, you know, I'll bring the co-parenting aspect into it as well. Like, okay, there's a there's a understanding there as well. So um, nah, it's it's I don't have a problem with that at all. Now, I'm not I'm not gonna say like it's gonna be straight out the gate. Like we get that's something we gotta we gotta work into um for sure, but yeah, I'm not I'm not against it whatsoever. I think that's I think that's something that you you should do, especially if things are uh you know getting serious. Um it's I mean that's that's gonna that's gonna be a bridge you have to cross eventually at some point. Um so yeah, yeah, I'm not I'm not against that at all. I think that's good. That's good.

SPEAKER_00: 38:58

Respect. Respect. Look, uh I think uh we we definitely hit some powerful moments, some some great um ideas of and some you know realistic situations when it comes to dating during the holidays. So obviously you do what's best for you, but just keep in mind a few things that we had mentioned today, especially when it comes to introduction to family, uh, when it comes to expectation of time spent, money spent, and just resources altogether, because you know, you have emotional resources that you have to take in display, and you don't want people getting the wrong impression. Uh at the same time, you don't want them playing with you as well. So I think that all these things uh you have to definitely take in consideration. So, with that being said, look, that's our episode for uh what, this the second week in December? You know, like I'm literally gonna date this episode because it's real time. So, man, it's it's just one of those things, Jay, that I think that we have to continue to um push the envelope because these conversations are literally lopsided. Somebody's just saying, okay, this is what you better do. And then the other person is saying, This is what you better do. And so I think we can be, you know, very optimistic and and helpful around these times when we're talking about the holidays.

SPEAKER_01: 40:19

Yeah, agreed, agreed.

SPEAKER_00: 40:22

And there you have it. Look, we'll see you guys next episode. Thank you so much for your support, love, and just giving a damn about what we think and what we say in our perspective. And so that being said, look, we'll see you next episode. As always, enjoy your holiday month. Yes, much love, peace, and joy. Pops and sun conversations, your favorite silk fox, Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_01: 40:46

Check three times, checking out.

SPEAKER_00: 40:49

We'll see you next episode.