Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
Subscribe now and join the conversation!
Pops and Son Conversations
What If The Best Gift Is Boundaries
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Holiday magic shouldn’t require a meltdown—or a maxed-out card. We open up about the pressure fathers feel to deliver a “big Christmas,” and how that weight can turn joy into anxiety if nobody sets the boundaries. From kids’ scroll-length wish lists to subtle guilt from comparison and social feeds, we dig into what drives December stress and how to redirect it into something healthier and more meaningful.
We get practical fast. You’ll hear why choosing one standout gift beats chasing twenty forgettable ones, how to talk with kids about money without killing the vibe, and the simple Rule of Three that keeps gifting sane: one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing that builds a skill. We reflect on Gen X simplicity—bikes, socks, time outside—and translate that spirit for today’s world of devices and instant trends. Along the way we tackle father guilt head-on, the difference between generosity and overgiving, and how to link privileges to responsibility so kids learn value, not entitlement.
You’ll leave with a plan: start early, set a budget, shop with intention, and consider a family gift that creates shared memories. We also share a last-minute gift list through our Amazon link that supports Keeping Veterans Fit, making your purchase do double good. Most of all, we center what matters—calm rooms, kind words, and time together. If you’ve ever felt torn between being the hero and being responsible, this conversation gives you language, tools, and confidence to lead with peace.
If this resonated, share it with a dad who needs it, listen with your family, and subscribe for more real, practical conversations. Leave a review with your best holiday tip—we’ll feature our favorites next week.
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Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
Welcome to another episode of Pops and Son Conversations. And yes, it is your favorite silver fox, Rob Malloy.
SPEAKER_00:And yes, it is your favorite poet. Javen, aka Mr. Check three times.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, indeed. Hey, look, we are still in December. We are still enjoying the holidays ourselves, and we want to wish you guys an amazing holiday season from yours truly Pops and Son conversations. Jay, happy holidays, brother.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, happy holidays, Pops.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you know, I call I call you brother because you know that's the old school in me. You know, it's better than calling you a jab turkey, right? Or jerk turkey for Thanksgiving purposes, right? Holiday purposes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, please don't call me that.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, hey, man. Um, I've definitely been enjoying, you know, having these talks, these conversations with you about um the holidays and you know, expectations, family, dating. Um, you know, it's really been um eye-opening, you know, just to know your mindset, you know, as a father, as a son, you know, uh, as a friend. So, you know, I think that these are extremely helpful. So I pray and I truly hope that, you know, a lot of folks are sharing these, you know, with their sons and with their husbands or brothers and uncles and fathers and stuff like that, because these are the conversations that happen or need to happen more often.
SPEAKER_00:True, true indeed. Share them up, people. Um, real conversations from pops and sons. And you know, I like to say we drop gems. You know, I I feel like we do. So hopefully the people out there are picking them up.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, for sure. So look, I think it's important that we have this conversation because this is a conversation that I feel is mandatory and absolutely necessary to have uh with your family members, with your your kids, your significant other, um, and even really your friends, man. We'll even talk a little bit about you know the expectations, you know, when it comes to actual friends, because it could be wild out here. The entitlement, man, is is real.
SPEAKER_00:Around these times, everybody wants something. It is the season, right?
SPEAKER_01:Hey, yeah, let's talk about you know, uh finances during the holiday season. Let's talk about, you know, the responsibility, you know, during the holidays, you know, from a father, because we're both fathers, and from a man's perspective, like I think that it's very necessary. And you know what? I'm gonna say this, man. I'm I'm gonna go out on a limb. A lot of men are afraid to have these conversations with their sinephani other because they basically just want them to feel like, baby, whatever you want to do, it's all good. I got you.
SPEAKER_00:Oh man, that's tough.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, that's the reality of it, man. Uh, but but you know what? So it does start with the adults, you know, that you're with. Uh, but let's just talk about the kids, man. Let's talk about the kids first because I think during the holidays, especially Christmas time, right? Around that time, you got Kwanzaa as well. I think that all roads lead to the kids. Because keep in mind, you got parents that may not have had a lot going on in their childhood. So they don't want their children to experience one gift, you know, two gifts. I mean, imagine eight, nine kids in the house. You can't do four or five gifts apiece.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Right, and pay the bills, right? You got to choose. And and then at the same time, of course, like we talked about last episode, you want to be practical.
unknown:Right?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. So uh talk a little bit about, man, uh, if there is a such thing of balancing, you know, the desire to give your kids everything with the reality of being responsible.
SPEAKER_00:Right, exactly. So I think it it definitely starts with um just understanding and and planning, yo. Like we, we, we under like Christmas is on the same day. It's on the same day every year, right? So it's not like we can um, you know, you you know it's coming. So I think that the best the best thing to do is kind of plan a little bit better for it, the balance to to really give your kids everything. You know, we gotta we gotta be real. We gotta be real about uh about the situation. And, you know, I I I talked about it a few a few parts back, you know, as when I was when I was coming up, um, you know, I didn't really understand until I got older how how I should have appreciated what I got. You know, it's and and it's not really something I don't think you can the kids aren't gonna be able to grasp it like that because there's so many other outside influences and things that they see on TV and other friends and they're gonna feel left out and they're gonna want to compare and things like that. But I think that as long as I I know one thing for me what it was, it was like I I knew at least one thing that I really, really, really wanted, right? I could maybe count on getting that. So I didn't, I didn't really try to shoot for, you know, nothing, nothing too crazy. I, you know, shoot for the stars like that, but I'm like, okay, this one thing I really, really, really want. So I think connecting with with the kids and maybe just trying to, you know, at least satisfy that thing that they kind of want real bad without hurting your pockets too much. Because, yeah, I mean, bills gotta get paid, but kids aren't, they don't, they're not gonna understand all that. Like they they want toys and they want the Christmas chair and all these different things. So um, yeah, I think just trying to um uh uh uh figure out like what what a good a good balance and compromise would be is the best thing. But you gotta talk to your kids too. Like you gotta talk to them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, I agree with you on that. You know, I'm I'm and as you were talking, I was I was just kind of reminiscing and I was trying to think about like what were some of the things when I was much younger that I desired. Because, like you said, there's always that one gift, right? And usually it's a big gift. Let's just be real. It's usually a bike, a computer, it may be, you know, depending on what you got going on, um uh uh something that you that they've seen around, right? Don't even really know how it works, whatever the case is, but they've seen it and it's like circulating in the in the kids' world, if you will, right? And so I was just kind of thinking back, man. I really didn't have uh a huge desire for presents on um on Christmas. Yeah, I I didn't really care. Um and and again, you know, I I'm a generation X. I think yeah, I'm Gen X. Am I Gen X? Yeah, so yeah, like what am I, right? So I think that, you know, during my day, I'm the era of outside all day long, uh coming home before the street lights turned. Uh we we bicycled everywhere, we didn't care about cars, even when cars, when we was able to have a license and stuff, we would still get on our bikes, man. We still own our bikes, man, because we ain't got to put gas in the bike, right? So so we uh we don't have to worry about that kind of stuff. I mean, play video games, played sports all day long, like just hooping all day long, or or playing, you know, uh tackle football in somebody's backyard or at the park, or just kind of going through the woods, man, you know, slinging bugs all over the place and uh putting them in jars and stuff. So so that was my era. So we like what are you really gonna get us that is going to enhance, you know, what we have going on, right? Right. Like things like binoculars went a long way because now, you know, we can we can feel like uh uh explorers, right? So, you know, we can feel like uh, you know, like we actually doing some things. And so obviously it was before laptops and and and um smartphones and all that kind of stuff. So my era, you know, it could be clothes, man. We socks, draws, yeah, shirts went along with it. Matter of fact, man, I feel like that's a timeless gift. I don't know about you, Jay. Yeah, give me a 10-pack of draws. Now don't give me the tidy-whiteys. Give me the box of briefs and give me some nice material, okay? Yeah, I don't need the paper draws, right? So give me that, give me some uh some tank tops, undershirts, socks. Man, for real with the socks though, man.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, you can never have too many socks.
SPEAKER_01:You can never have too many, man. I remember uh, and you know, I'm dating myself, but being here in Atlanta, there's a lot of spots where you can go to, and uh a lot of people will consider it, you know, like the flea market. But here in Atlanta is not really the flea market. So you used to be able to go to West End, you know, places like that. You got Greenbrier, um, just you know, places in the city where you can go and get like 60 pairs of socks for for$15.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that's crazy. I've never heard of that.
SPEAKER_01:Zero. Right? Maybe more, depending on it, you know, if they're trying to get rid of their supply. But so I was really simple. Uh I'm still really, really simple. I don't really require, I don't care if you don't give me anything, right? Like you can also give me some time. You know, uh, you can, you know, I'm not offended by cash. You know, some people like, oh, you know, you could just give money, but that's not even thing. No, give me the money.
SPEAKER_00:Give me the loot.
SPEAKER_01:Give me the loot, give me the loot, right? Exactly. Uh so as a kid, man, I didn't really uh and I'm not we're gonna have to verify. Like next time we go over mom and dad's, man, we're gonna have to verify and see, you know, what I was like. Was I begging when I was little, you know, was I unappreciative, uh, especially when it came to the holidays. So we're gonna have to verify that. We're gonna have to get that on some footage of uh mom and dad talking about that as well. But you know, I think things have definitely changed. There's so many things available to uh to get now, right?
SPEAKER_00:Um Yeah, it's a lot of options out there, it's a lot. I I I know one of the things I wanted was uh uh it was a game. Um I really wanted the actually what I asked for was the Nintendo. So it was a Nintendo DS that came out.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I remember that.
SPEAKER_00:And that that that is really what I wanted. It was super popular. All the kids had them. You could connect to the different games and play games together. And um the year that it came out, I mean, everybody had one. I didn't get one, but um, I got one the next year, so I was able to join the party. And I mean, I was I was happy like that, that that satisfied me for for years. But you know, I don't know what that would be for kids today that they could, you know, they they get it, and it's like this is you know, this is it. Like, I I don't know. It's just it's just so much, and I feel like the attention spans are so have dwindled so much that I don't know if anything would even entertain them long enough until they're like, what's next? So what do I need next? Like, like you said, your generation went from being able to, you know, be outside and and and play and and kind of really self-satisfy. And then we came in and we, you know, we had more things like internet and video, more advanced video games and stuff like that. And now today, like, I don't even know what that what that looks like, what they're doing for fun or I guess watching streams or something like that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, you know, creating videos, uh that type of thing. Uh, you know, we we definitely in the era of uh you know online activity. Uh I tell you what, let's go in this direction here because we did get a request to kind of talk about uh, you know, some tips for fathers um when it comes to you know that time in uh in December during the holidays to take in consideration, right? And this is mainly for the fathers, you know, because the women aren't gonna listen to us. But maybe, just maybe, maybe we can get a breakthrough. But I want to talk about um and if you think this is is uh a reality, but how do you feel about is there like a guilt that that fathers carry when they can't give this this big Christmas? And of course, kids, different kids are different, each kid is different and unique. So you have some just like, you know, I just want to be loved and I just want to have family. And then you got kids, they got a uh a list. What? Right? They got a they it's a scroll, I guess I should even say.
SPEAKER_00:List of demands.
SPEAKER_01:The list of demands, man. Uh, LOD. So talk about uh if it does exist and what that may be like, talking about uh, you know, a guilt a father may carry.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Not able to have that big Christmas for the kids.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it defin it definitely does exist. Um and I want to just say, um, fathers out there, you you know, don't let these times get to you. Because, like you mentioned before, Pops, this is supposed to be um, you know, moments of cheer, relax, relaxation, peace, and and good vibes. So try your best not to let this pressure of um, you know, having the burden of providing this this big, huge Christmas. Because, like I said before, like, hey man, it's it's it's every year, right? If if you're not able to, you know, have it the way that you want it this year, guess what? You get to try again next year. Maybe you get to prepare, save a little bit extra in the meantime, or find access to some additional funds so that you can do if, you know what I'm saying, if it's something that you truly want to do, um, you know, you you can figure it out. But I just I just don't think that we should have that guilt for, you know, feeling like, oh, you know, I didn't get you what you wanted, or the kid didn't, and and like I said, kids are they're gonna be ungrateful, they're gonna be, they're not gonna understand the reality of life and builds and all these different pressures until they grow up and have to, you know, handle those type of situations on their own. So it'll come full circle, you know, they'll they'll eventually understand. So there's there's just no need to beat yourself up about it.
SPEAKER_01:That's that's really good, that's really powerful. And uh, I think a lot of times, man, it's pressure that's put on yourself. Like the kids will appreciate whatever you give them, right? But when you set certain unrealistic expectations, uh, and what I mean by that is sometimes you you get all the gifts, right? But at what price? Like something has to lack on the other end, uh, because you're not being practical. But if you can literally, like you mentioned, kind of set those realistic expectations, and you have to have that conversation with the kids, right? Like you want 20 items, but you only play with two items right now.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01:So if I get you these 20 items, there's gonna be lack there. And then I'm gonna be a little upset, right? And then I'm gonna start, you know, uh scooping up the ones that you didn't open, and I'm gonna regift them next year. Right. Or it's so it's something that's not even, you know, they're just enamored with with that one item. So really you could have got that one item. That's the only one you need, and then everything else could have been bonus, meaning you could have kind of pieced those together. Like, here's something now, here's something a little bit later, that type of thing. Uh, so man, that's that's a really good point. Um, I would say also that there is a guilt, uh, but sometimes that guilt comes from the child's mother, dare I say. Can can I go there?
SPEAKER_00:Hey, this you know how we do this.
SPEAKER_01:Right. So I believe sometimes that guilt comes from the mother, right? Because these children know how to play the mother way better than the pops, right? Because it's a it's an emotional uh roller coaster, right? They hit the moms with the okay, but I didn't get this last year, or I really need it, or people are gonna talk about me, or I really, really want it, or I feel like I'm gonna, you know, be depressed. Like they they running game on mama all day, every day. Let's just be real about that. And and guess what? This ain't nothing new that's been going on for centuries, right? Kids have been running game on their parents for centuries, especially when it comes to the holidays, right? And I'll tell you what, man, you have some children that have no idea the value of money. That's true. They have no clue because every time they ask for something, they get it.
SPEAKER_00:They get it, right?
SPEAKER_01:Right. So there's no value of money or or what this took to obtain, um, or even to the fact of sometimes, you know, you gotta tell the kids you gotta earn it. I'm not just gifting you everything. Like, come on now, you don't even clean up your room, right? You don't I can't even get you to sweep the floor, uh, sweep the garage, you know, you take the trash out, but you expect me to give you every single thing you ask for. Like, you really got to start doing kids a certain way young so they see the value and they understand that it is a gift.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, right? Yeah, that's a good, that's a good point, Pops.
SPEAKER_01:It's a gift. And I think that you know, those type of things have to be instilled early because if you're doing this, you know, when kids are four, five, six, seven, eight years old, then when they become a teenager, they literally ain't trying to take no for an answer. They're not trying to, man. They're gonna make them them kid uh parents feel a certain way if they don't make it happen. They they may even compare the parenting. Did you hear what I just said? Compare the parenting. Compare the parenting, meaning, well, uh uh Terry's mom and dad bought uh uh you know Lil Terrence a uh a motorcycle. And what did I get? It can be that serious, man. And I'm saying it may sound you know a little exaggerated, but it's not. It's a lot of parents' reality. And and they feel some type of way. I I literally know uh I would say some women, right? I gotta say that because I don't know no brothers doing it like this, but I know some women that will literally break the bank to ensure that each item on their children's list is checked off every item and will panic if items are left off and they can't get it for their child. You you would think that the dating child have to answer to the parent. So it it is that serious for some households. So I just want to encourage you guys to uh and remind you guys you're the boss.
SPEAKER_00:You're the parent. That's right. Yeah, that's yeah, that's the best point, right? There, you the boss, you in control.
SPEAKER_01:You in control. Uh look, Jay, let's do this. Uh, because I do want to wrap it up because I want you guys to enjoy this episode, but we also want you to listen to this episode with your child. That way, guess what? You ain't got to be the bad guy, which is really the good guy. But they think it's a bad guy, right? So listen to this episode, you know, uh with your children. Listen to this episode with the family, and definitely listen to it, you know, if if you have some elders, whether it be your parents, your your uncle, your aunt, uh cousins, whatever the case is. But this is definitely one of those episodes you want the family involved. And so um, that being said, man, let's kind of talk about some good tips that uh that I think that people should take in accountability when it comes to deciding, you know, uh what to really do when it comes to this exchanging. Because we ain't even talking about exchanging. We may have to deal with that a little bit later. But uh before they even buy anything, man, what what are some things that we can actually give them some actionable steps and thought processes uh to help them out?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think I think one of the one of the best tips I could give is to start early.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, you know, we I I don't know um about y'all, but I'm I I hate to say this, but I'm being honest. I'm definitely one of those last minute shoppers. Like I wait, I wait and then, you know, try to go get what I what I was thinking about getting, and it's not there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know what I mean? Almost like the movie uh I don't know if y'all seen this. Uh the movie with uh it's called uh Jingle all the way. He was trying to get the Turbo Man darling. He is running all around the city because they were sold out. So I would say, I would say start early, you know what I mean? Um start thinking of, you know, making your list early about what you want to get the kids or what you want to get your partner or you know, whoever, because that's gonna that's gonna relieve some some stress off you too when it gets when it gets close to that time.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, I think that's really good. Um I'll add to that. Uh allocate allocate how much you're gonna spend. I know, I know that that may be a tough one to hear, because you know, people make it six and seven figures a month. Everybody paid, right? But you know, at the same time, you still have to be practical. Uh, but then also look at the standard that you're setting, right? Um, because it if you don't really show value in what you think the the kid can really appreciate and you just give them whatever they want, then that that definitely sets a uh a potentially adverse um precedent. So I think that you know you should you should set a budget. And you know, if you go over the budget, hey, that's what you decide. But if you can stay under under the budget, I think that that is encouraging that you can actually do it. And these may be practices that you've never done before, but I think it's okay to um try something different and at least check out the results before you you decide that it's not a good look.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. What else do you think? Yeah, I got I got I got another one. So um I found this one. It's it's called the rule of three for kids for kids' gifts. Yeah, and I think it's gonna be real good. I think it's gonna be super helpful. So this is what it is, y'all. You you choose three things. You get something they want, right? Something that they want. The next one is gonna be something they need, like the necessities, right? And then finally, the third gift would be something that builds a skill. Um, I think I think if you do that, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't see how how they can be happy. You know what I'm saying? You you got you got what you want, you got something that you need, and then you got something that builds a skill. Now, this could be, you know, something from like a uh uh creative arts type of vantage point, an easel or something like that that's helping them with their painting. Um, if you got the um the oh what's what's some what's some other good ones that'll that'll build a skill. I'm trying to think.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, look, man, yeah, you you could you could definitely even, you know, uh like you said, the arts and craft, you know, painting, yeah, all those type of things are are really good. And of course, obviously there's some electronics that'll help them, uh, whether it's helping them read, whether it's uh, you know, something to get their creative minds uh uh elevated. So, you know, those those are definitely some great things, man. And if you can't think of anything, right? If you're really trying to get some type of last-minute gifts, uh, we have created a Pops and Sun Conversations last-minute gift list.
SPEAKER_00:That's right.
SPEAKER_01:So you'll be able to uh go to our website, you can click on that link, the Amazon link, and of course you can go to any of our social media and uh and check that out because we do have a post up to where you can click that Amazon link and get some last-minute gifts. And then it's not only for the kids, but it's uh for the adults as well. And I uh and I think that, you know, if you uh if if you're a Javen, right? Because you're president, right? If you're a Javen, this comes in, you know, extremely handy. Um, but at the same time, you you guys know that we're attached to uh a few different organizations. And one of them is uh Keeping Veterans Fit, which is the nonprofit organization for veterans and veterans family. Um, a portion of that will go to the nonprofit organization. So you're doing dual purpose uh for yourself and uh a charitable um organization that helps others. So look, Jay, um we're we're close, man. We're we're about a week away. Um is there anything that you want to share with them as we get a little bit closer to uh the Christmas Day family gathering and things like that?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like you know, like I've been saying, um guys, enjoy your time, enjoy your family. Don't don't don't put too much pressure on yourself, right? These at this time of the year, um, you know, you you don't want to be worried with anything and you want to go into the the new year as we get closer to that, you know, with with a with a free mind, a healthy mind, a healthy mindset.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, right?
SPEAKER_00:You got time to reflect on what you did this year and what you want to do next year. So um keep a positive mood, keep a positive mindset, and just keep pushing on.
SPEAKER_01:There it is. Um, it gets no better than that. We want you guys to have a very safe, a very enjoyable, uh, a very intentional family spending, even if you have to make up with some family members, and you guys just have to squash some things, man. You do not want to go into 2026 with animosity in your heart, uh, jealousy, envy, and and hate. Um, those things are not safe for your mind, body, soul, or spirit. So, with that being said, look, we want to wish you guys a Merry Christmas, uh, a happy Hanukkah for those of you that celebrate that, and happy Kwanzaa. All right, uh, from of course your favorite civil fox, Rob Malloy, and your favorite poet, Mr.
SPEAKER_00:Checker Thoms.
SPEAKER_01:Pops and Conversations. We'll see you guys next episode, and Merry Christmas, happy holidays.
