Lemon Pepper Season And Dad Advice

A lot of people call it “father son issues,” but what we’re really seeing is a childhood foundation that never got the time, guidance, and communication it needed. We jump into the conversation so many of you asked for: the real ups and downs between fathers and sons, why misunderstandings happen, and how family patterns can repeat across generations when nobody slows down to talk.

We unpack presence vs absence in a practical way, from military life to long work hours to the quiet kind of distance that happens when a dad is technically home but not fully available. We also give serious respect to the mothers and partners who hold the household together, switch between nurturer and disciplinarian, and still have to “brief” dad on what’s going on with the kids. That dynamic shapes a boy’s sense of safety, trust, and identity more than most families realize.

Then we get into mentorship and why adolescence is the window where boys start searching for role models and a blueprint for manhood. We talk structure, direction, goal setting, and why the mentor who’s next to you can matter more than the idol on the wall. We also challenge the narrow “sports or nothing” mindset and push for more exposure to entrepreneurship, academics, trades, IT, and real-world options that fit a young man’s strengths.

If you’ve ever felt the push and pull between a father’s foresight and a son’s need to choose his own path, you’ll hear yourself in this one. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the conversation, and leave a review so more families can find Pops And Son Conversations. What’s one lesson you wish you heard at 13?

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Transcript

April Energy And Catching Up

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Welcome to another episode of Pops and Sun Conversations. And as always, it is your favorite silver fox, Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Javen. AKA Mr. Check Three Times checking in.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

And we in the building. The building, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, so we high energy. We're excited about being uh in the month of April. We got April Fools out the way. We got the Easter eggs and chocolates and jelly beans out the way. I kind of feel like I still own that jelly bean high. But you know what I mean? But uh, but how you feeling, Jay, man? What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:53

I'm feeling good, Pops. I'm feeling good, you know. The pollen attack has has kind of died down a little bit. So, you know, it's it's the nice sneezing and all that.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, it's it's a lot, man. That that seasoning. Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

That's what it is.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

The vehicles, the trees, everybody getting seasoning on it.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Yeah, yeah, they said it's that lemon pepper season.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Uh, so look, uh, we're we're in April. Uh, there was a highly demanded conversation that our viewers and our supporters wanted us to talk about, and and you know, we we tried a couple episodes we we tried to address it. We we really had the intent of talking about it, but we did get on a tandem. Well worth it though.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Oh yeah. And that happens sometimes, you know. It does.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Yeah, it does. It happens. It's like, you know, you you plan for a championship game, and you, you know, you focus on your offense, and you're gonna run this offense, and and then you wind up having to execute defense more than the offense. So you had to make that adjustment. So, but that's how you get to the that's how you get to the chip.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

That's how you do it.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

By making those adjustments. So, Jay, so what actually was that topic that uh that our viewers and and our supporters wanted us to to delve in?

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Uh, so pretty much um it's like childhood foundation, like the ups and downs, and you know, um like misunderstandings between the father and the son, things like that. You know, that's right. Um which for us, um, you know, the last time we tried to get into it, we started to talk about that, but then we kind of started talking about um, you know, just yeah, but yeah, exactly. The plight. Yeah, that's what we got into. Got into the plight. Then we try to stick to the script this time.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yeah, we gotta stick to the script today because we we know that there's certain information that people wouldn't necessarily have access to, maybe because the father and son doesn't have uh great communication or great dialogue, or you know, um, you may not have access to those conversations. Maybe the maybe the mother or the grandmother doesn't really know if the father and son do communicate, how they communicate, is it effective? And you know, what are some of the outcomes when they don't have that relationship and when they do? And so uh so we we we got y'all this time around, I promise you. Uh Jay, uh Childhood Foundation, man, you know, that's that's so important because we talk we're talking about you know generations of generations and generations. I mean, you know, sometimes we'll go as far back as your granddad. And um, but at the same time, being able to have that conversation through different generations are so key because a lot of people will say that you know there was like a uh a gap. There was a gap in the relationship. Like maybe the grandfather and the son, you know, had a good relationship, but then that father and his son didn't necessarily have a strong relationship, or maybe that father wasn't available. Yeah, you know, and there's so many different dynamics that can happen, and uh, you know, so there's no really cookie-cutter approach. So we just like you know, giving our truths and and uh you know our experiences, and hopefully it can touch a few people.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Agree. And you made a really good point about that gap, too. And that's not something that a lot of people think about because you know, there's there's whether whether you want it to happen or not, like there's always gonna be uh some type of bond there, some type of tension, or maybe not tension is not the right word, but there's like uh an attraction there between, you know, grandson, uh grandfather, father, and son. Like there's always gonna be something there. So it's you know, it's just it's just an avenue and a path to be explored. And sometimes it's not able to be explored for whatever reason. Um I know sometimes uh, you know, one example is like, you know, you may have the military father, or you may have the dad that's just not in the house for, you know, whatever, whatever type of reason. He's hustling, making money. Um, you know, that that nine to five to where it's like you working all day and when you get home, you just feed the kid, tuck them in, and then you know, it's it's start to start to cycle all over again the next day. So even that has um an effect on a child and the and the foundation of the child growing up, you know, and the presence, like presence versus absence. You know what I mean?

Moms Holding It Down

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Yeah. You know what? Let me uh put a pen in this here real quick because this is where I think uh the mother or the wife or uh the the companion, she is so vital because I could just I could just imagine um a father that you know because my dad, he he was in the military and he was out to sea being in the navy, but he retired when I was relatively young, so I didn't see a whole bunch of dad being gone uh for for months and months at a time. But what I do know is the mother plays such a vital role because she literally has to brief the father, she literally got to give him the rundown. Hey, this is what's been going on, uh, these are some of the issues that we may have. Uh, and she's just kind of giving a rundown of the household, uh, the kids, what we need to do because she's straight been running the show, yeah, um, solo. And you know, he might be sending you know money or she may have access to that, but you still now she's the the disciplinarian, she's the enforcer, she's she's playing all these roles. And so I imagine that the kids are kind of looking at her in such a way to where you know sometimes mom is nice, sometimes mom seems like she's mean, sometimes, you know, she she feels like uh you know we're we're we're cool, like a friend, and then sometimes there's a separation of mother and and child. So, you know, big shout out to um you know the mothers out there. We we truly understand and see the value, especially when it comes to when that father is not in the household, but even when he's in the household and uh he he's not available full time because of you know whatever he's doing, whether it be military, whether it's contractor, truck driver, those type of things. So, man, big shout out to the ladies, man, that's holding it up.

Why Mentorship Hits In Adolescence

SPEAKER_00 9:07

It's not easy, it can't be easy, so for sure. Super big shout out, you know, just being able to wear all those different hats and also dealing with like the the psychological effects of because you know, women like they don't like to have to, you know, to do that stuff. Like they they want to just be the nurturers and the you know, come to me when when your daddy, you know what I'm saying, and with you and all that stuff, but they have to put that hat on. So it's I know it's a lot of times it probably feels um, you know, like contradictory or or going against the grain, but you know, these things are are they need to be done for that childhood foundation. So we appreciate you women for you know for doing that for sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

See there we showing love, and we in April. You just had your month in March, and we still showing love, all right? So make sure that you share in these episodes, but kind of getting back to you know what what our audience have been asking for about that father-son relationship. Um Jay, let's kind of talk about some of the necessities that we feel like the young men need and at what age. And so what I mean by that is let's talk a little bit about the importance of mentorship, um, and let's kind of talk about you know, that age group to where it's crucial that uh our young men get get mentorship.

Expanding Goals Beyond Sports

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah, I think the age group that's most important is is the adolescent, adolescent age, kind of when you start to uh come into to you know your manhood or or becoming a young man, you know, you start to uh your voice drops a little bit, you know, you you kind of have like a different swagger to you. You know, you start understanding um that you know there's there's responsibility and things that come with with your gender, you know, just with being a young man, like there's certain principles that you should uphold to be viewed uh a certain way in society. And not to say like this is my my personal opinion on it is that um, you know, men should conduct themselves in in a particular way, you know, at all times. You know, that is going to be a differentiator between uh, you know, what they say, you know, is is a boy and a man. Like you leave your boyish ways behind when you transition. Um so um, you know, that's that's a part of that whole identity thing. But I think mentorship is is super important because as a young man, you're already seeking that out. Like you're you're it doesn't matter, you know, if if you have your father in your life or or you don't have a figure at all, like young men are always gonna be seeking out um you know that that mentor. Like that's that's why you have you know your role models and your idols and all these different types of things on your poster, on your walls and stuff. This is who you look up to, this is who you aspire to be like. You know, that happens naturally. You know what I mean? So um mentorship is so important because just think about you know, you looking at role models and all these things, but you have someone that's exemplifying what you want to be like, but that's right next to you. It's not on TV, it's not on, you know what I mean, on the radio or whatever. They're right there next to you, able to give you game, able to give you advice, and kind of help you along your path to being the man that you want to be.

Trust And Conflict On A New Path

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Wow. You know, uh, in addition to that, it gives you it gives a young man structure, it gives him direction, um, and it also gives him a guide on um how to be a young man, how to set goals, and how to position yourself to be, you know, the best version of yourself and whatever your personal goals or dreams are. And you know, we've been in a society, especially in our community, our black community, to idolize uh entertainment, to uh idolize uh sports, to idolize, you know, just different things in terms of uh what is trendy or what's popular. You know, I don't think that entrepreneurship has been a highlight in our community um in terms of being a a uh primary goal. You know, entrepreneurship seems to fall back as if other things don't work, then start working for yourself. Or it's it's usually an alternative. And I think we have to do a better job at giving our youth uh direction when it comes to uh diversity. I think that's extremely important, and and we have to work on that because I know growing up, you know, it's like okay, you uh which sport you gonna play? You know what I mean? Think of sport because that's what's gonna get you, you know, uh your scholarship, or that's what's gonna get you, you know, to the next level. And you know, if if you're good at academics, then we'll push that as well. But you know, sports is gonna be the primary thing when there's so many other options to look to look at that we should be able to, you know, offer. And of course, we're talking about you know, our young boys, our sons, and uh just kind of give them a diverse package to choose from. And to your point, you know, fathers, they may not be in the field or industry that his son wants. So, you know, he may be uh the father may be a track star, football star, or whatnot, but the kid wants to go into IT. You know, he wants to go into uh um construction, you know, he wants to do uh you know something completely different. So either the father shuns his his desires or he force feeds him and and um you know projects what he wants him to be and he lives through them uh vicariously. And I'm sure that that that's so common that we could talk about that through the entire um episode. But Jay, I do want to ask you so how important do you think it is um to allow that young man to decide what direction uh he wants to go and and cater to that or give him a path to get him to a certain level, and then now since he has that under his belt, he can explore some other things, you know, but get him to the finish line first.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Yeah, yeah, and through you know, through through either path, there's there's likely to be some type of conflict attention just because you know when you're when you're young, you don't have that foresight. You know, a father is able to kind of um you know, it's it's almost like GPS a little bit. Like the father is is is already got it locked in, knowing the routes, know when to turn left, know when to turn right. Um, so they have more knowledge in in most cases, but it's a new path for the son being forged. So he's he's trying to also trust his father, but maybe you want to rely on his instincts a little bit too. So there's gonna be some, you know, some conflict there, and there's gonna have to be a level of trust on both ends. Son is gonna have to trust that Pops, you know, has his best interests, and Pops is gonna have to also trust that, you know, son is trusting him, you know, and is really gonna follow um, you know, uh follow, follow the path accordingly and and understand what he's laying out. But um what I think um from from the father's point and and kind of get into the finish line, I think that's really important. And I think that fathers should do their best. I think that, you know, I think that we should exhaust our options to get our sons there. Um because like I said, like it's it's just you you want the best, of course, but you just you just have that you have that foresight, man. You you you could see it.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Yep.

Parents Align And Time Matters

SPEAKER_00 18:30

You know what I mean? You you can you can literally see it for your son. Um and I think that that type of and really I think that that's kind of like almost almost like a father intuition type of thing. I know they talk about, you know, women's intuition and and this, that and the third, but I think that's kind of like the father's gift for his son is able to being able to kind of see and um and even predict a certain type of trajectory if sons just follow uh these particular um steps. So yeah, I I definitely think um it's important to do that for your son. But you know, in in in some cases it doesn't, it doesn't always work. Like son may be a little bit hard-headed, you know what I'm saying? And he may have to go and make those different mistakes and and and kind of you know do his own thing. But I think at the end of the day, in most cases, son understands, like, dang, dad was dad was right. And maybe I took the hard route, and maybe I still got there. But you know, I I went against the grand, I took a harder route. And if I had to just listen to pops, um, you know, it would have been a little bit easier for me. So I think nine times out of ten, sons, pops, pops, pops know what he's talking about. You know what I mean? So, you know, don't be so hard-headed.

Part Two Tease And Support Us

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Hey, that's a good word. Listen, even when we have that particular conversation, I think that sometimes a conflict can also be between the parents because you know, uh the mother is a little bit more nurturing, so she's gonna be like, Well, this is what he really wants to do. And are you projecting what you want or what you wanted for yourself in your son? And so I think that having that conversation is so important for the parents and them both being on the same page because that kid, he actually may favor the parent that leans towards you know what he really wants to do versus what he needs to do. Yeah, um, but but my um, you know, I I would always admonish and promote giving that son the direction and tools and resources and get him to the finish line. Uh, because you can't go back. Uh you can't go back and say, you know what, when he was 13, uh, we should have gone ahead and got him enrolled in XYZ for social skills. Uh, when he was 16, we should have made sure that you know we we we did this and did that, or even when he was much younger, to get him involved in in something that would at least give him some direction and find out what he's really good at versus what he just likes to do, because he may not be challenged uh and and be able to develop some of those skills that that we didn't really know. And so I I think that the results that we see today, the outcomes that we see, uh favor when that son has that direction. I think the best person that can get him there is going to be his father, now, whether he's in the household or not, uh, because that it's in his DNA. The father knows he he sees himself in his son. So he can he can nurture, he can use his resources, and he can just kind of have some conversation to help his son understand. Well, look, this is why you run fast, this is why you're good with your hands, these this is why you're uh uh uh and so analytical. You know, that you come from that stock, son. And um you you can't get that time back, Jay, to to be able to uh you know give that guidance and and give those tools. And so, you know, I I hope that you know the mothers understand. I even hope that the fathers and sons understand that that dynamic is so unique. There's there's nothing like that relationship, the uh the instincts, the learning of the mindset, and just kind of seeing yourselves in each other, and and it helps you learn why you do the things you do, why you think the way you think, you know, why you like the things that you like. It's not by happenstance and it's not by coincidence either. It's it's your DNA.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Very well said, Pops. Very well said.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Hey, look, with that being said, look, we're gonna have to uh we're gonna have to part two this um because there was a few other things that we wanted to talk about. Um because there are some some challenges in the just in the father and son dynamic, not even necessarily adding any issues with the uh with the mother. Um you know, and kind of I alluded to it when you start seeing yourself, you know, in each other, you know, sometimes you can you can resist that or sometimes you can embrace it. But either way, um it's gonna be a journey. So we'll we'll bless you guys with another episode about the childhood foundation, uh uh and the Pops and Son Conversations Foundation. Jay, do we have a foundation yet, man? What's going on? Yeah, we we gotta get

SPEAKER_00 23:53

On that, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Oh my God. Good grief. But look, you guys can still support us, you know, and go to the website, see what activities we have going on. You know, you can always check out the social media. We get a lot of DMs all the time. We've been getting a lot of traction on the clips that we've been dropping in our conversations. And understand we have clips for days. Oh man. We have clips for days. Some of the information is is uh a little seasoned, if you will, little lemon pepper episodes, but uh it's still vital and relevant. And so we want you guys to check it out on our social media platforms and uh and do it like that. Is there anything else we can give them, Jay?

SPEAKER_00 24:40

I don't think they need anything else right now. Y'all gotta wait till the next episode. We gotta we gotta keep y'all coming back, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

We gotta keep hey, we gotta dangle the carrot, man. Let's be real about it. Who stole my cheese, if you will?

SPEAKER_02 24:56

All right, y'all. Look, uh, we'll see you guys next episode, Pops the Sun Conversations. We appreciate you guys. We're signing out. It's your favorite Silfox Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Check three times, checking out.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

We gone.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Peace.