If Your Chest Hurts, Don’t Turn Up The Radio

The warning signs usually aren’t subtle. A headache every day. Getting winded doing normal things. Snapping at people you love. Still, a lot of us handle our health the same way we handle a car we’re trying to push past its limits: we ignore the noise, assume the light will go away, and turn up the radio. For Men’s Health Month, I’m going solo to talk plainly about why that mindset is so common and why it’s costing men more than we want to admit.

We dig into the strange relationship many men have with preventive care, especially when life is busy with work, kids, relationships, and everyone else’s needs. I break down how the “tough it out” lessons we grow up with can build resilience, but can also morph into denial, silence, and neglect. Real maturity is recognizing a problem early, making the appointment, and treating your body like the one thing you cannot replace.

We also get into men’s mental health, stress, anxiety, and depression, including how stress can hide as insomnia, anger, isolation, or losing joy in things you used to love. Then we talk about rest and sleep, why burnout isn’t a trophy, and how nonstop work can become a coping mechanism that keeps you from dealing with what’s really going on. I close with something practical: finding your own catharsis, your real release, and checking on the men around you because many won’t bring it up, but they will answer if you ask.

If this hits home, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review so more men can find these conversations. What’s one health habit you want to take seriously this month?

You can advertise with PNS today

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to another episode of Pops and Son Conversations. It is I, aka Sun, aka Check three times. And if you haven't already noticed, yes, this is gonna be another solo episode. Uh Pops is currently uh uh he he's currently uh on a trip right now, right? So he's in the Virgin Islands doing some work uh uh for the community, making some connections, uh helping veterans and things over there, kind of setting up some new foundations um, you know, for the further uh business uh overall. So I am uh again taking the reins on this episode, and we are in a new month. Okay, we are in a new month. It is June, and it's also Men's Health Month. That's what's going on this month. So that's what I want to dedicate this episode to. And I know if you've

Solo Update And June Focus

SPEAKER_00 1:18

been listening to the podcast um since its inception, then you know we've broached this topic before. I mean, we talk about this topic um, you know, throughout other conversations, but we've definitely lended some episodes to this. Me and my dad have uh talked about our health, our mental health. Uh we've talked about different events and conferences that we have attended uh that are centered around this topic. Uh so it's one of those evergreen topics, it's one of those things that'll never go out of style because it's so important. And there's always uh a new mind or a new uh perspective that you can change when you lend your own experience or your own uh advice um uh uh on this topic. So that's what I want to do today. Uh I'm

Why Men’s Health Still Matters

SPEAKER_00 2:13

not gonna try to make it too long, but I do want to give some of the insight that I have, some of the things that I've learned on my health journey, both mental and physical. Um so the first thing I want to get into, though, is some some honest things about it. Some honest things about it. Um uh, you know, health affects us all. It affects all men, right? Whether you're 18, 35, 50, 70, right? Health is one of those things that no matter what age group or demo, uh we all have that in common. But for some reason, you know, people get to roll in their eyes when they, you know, when they think about, you know, uh uh, hey, you know, you gotta eat kale or you should run a marathon or drink a gallon of water uh every hour. You know what I'm saying? People kind of turn turn their heads to those type of cliches. So I don't want to do that type of thing. Uh I want to get a little bit deeper. Um, I want to talk about maybe what could be considered a bit of a strange relationship that men have with taking care of themselves. Um, because, you know, if we've been honest, a lot of us treat our bodies the same way we we we treat that car, you know, that we're trying to squeeze an extra 50k miles out of, right? You know, things you start treating a little different, you know. You hear the brakes squealing, you might just turn the radio up a little bit. The check engine light come on. You tell yourself it's probably a sensor. You know, you ain't trying to go get a check, you're hearing some funny stuff under the hood. Again, turn the radio up, or you know, you try not to worry about it or whatever. Um, you know, so I think a lot of us men apply that same type of logic to our bodies, right? There's guys out there that's having headaches every day. They may call that stress. Your chest is hurting, you like, oh, I just slept wrong. You can't catch your breath, you out of breath and winded all the time. You're just like, oh yeah, I'm getting older. Um, but the problem with that is that,

The Car Analogy For Your Body

SPEAKER_00 4:38

you know, we try to explain everything away except accepting the possibility that uh, you know, that's something that we should really pay attention to. Um and what's more is that, you know, a lot of men, we aren't afraid of hard work. We're not afraid of sacrifice or responsibility. You know, all of these things we accept. But for some odd reason, you know, sitting in that doctor's office, you know, for 30 minutes or or or even just finding the time to make the appointment, it really seems like a big challenge for us. You know, in my industry, I've I've done physical labor, hard labor for, you know, most of my jobs. So, you know, I've done furniture moving, I've done flatbed trucking, having to throw those straps around and climb on top of freight and strap it down. And I've seen, you know, I've worked with guys, you know, that that are doing some of the same rigorous type of tasks, um, you know, and I'm saying real physical stuff. Um, but if you ask any any one of these guys, like, yo, when was the last time you went to the doctor or or got a uh or got a physical or when it just got checked up, you know, it seems like a lot of us are just going so hard all the time that we just don't make time for that type of stuff, you know. So nobody always has an answer for it. So I think that's one of the things that we definitely um have to make a change to, just as men, like we gotta think about our health and and and not be afraid of making that appointment. You know what I'm saying? Not being afraid of making that appointment. So the um, you know, like this is another another aspect for me, uh, like I mentioned, like the busyness of it all. Right? We busy, kids need attention, you're working, you your relationship needs effort. But like I mentioned earlier, we we to call back to that uh uh car analogy, right? So if your car breaks down, hey, you can replace it, you can get a new car. If your phone dies, uh, it stops working, you can replace that. Or it might just run out of battery, you can charge that up. If your TV stops working, it's not the end of the

Making The Doctor Appointment Normal

SPEAKER_00 7:17

world. Right? These are all material things, but you only get one body and you can't replace that. So we can't treat our body like it's replaceable. You know what I'm saying? So um a lot of times it seems like one of those things that we invest in the least, um, and I think that's where a lot of us men grow uh, we we go wrong with that. And it's not even all our fault. You know, as I sit here and think about it, growing up, we hear things like tough it out. We hear things like walk it off, stop crying, handle your business. Um and while there is value in that type of resilience, I think sometimes those lessons get distorted because that resilience, that same resilience can turn into denial, or uh that same strength can turn into silence and that toughness can turn into neglect. Um yeah, that toughness can turn into neglect. I think a lot uh somewhere along the line, uh a lot of guys start believing that acknowledging a problem is the same thing as weakness, but that's not right. Uh on the contrary, recognizing a problem is usually the first sign of maturity, right? You think about it. If your roof starts leaking, you don't prove your toughness by

When Toughness Turns Into Neglect

SPEAKER_00 8:55

ignoring it. If your brakes stop working, you know, you don't pretend that nothing's wrong. Like if there's any type of issue in life as a man, as a man, you address the issue because you understand what happens if you don't. So we have to trans, we have to make that translation into how we care for ourselves, our bodies, right? Um, because at the end of the day, when you think about it, that avoidance of a problem can be expensive. Right? It can be super expensive, not only financially, but emotionally, physically, and often in ways that can't be undone. And that's really one of the funny, tricky things about health. It's like, you know, you you don't get any any do-overs, and it's kind of uh a maintenance type of thing, right? It's really a maintenance thing. Like you get what you you how however you are, you know, whatever you've worked out uh physically or mentally, however your health is. Um it can be improved, sure, but I think 90% of the work is simply maintaining, keeping it in check. Um so of course, one of the biggest health conversations happening right now is mental health. Um, it's super important. Uh, it cannot be understated how important uh mental health really is. Um and and you know, we've talked about it on this podcast a great deal. We've mentioned um, like I said, it's different uh conferences and um, you know, different therapists and uh mental health specialists that we've uh uh interviewed and talked to and hosted events for and things like that. So we understand uh really the importance of it and uh the the weight that it holds, um, especially in uh in the black community. Um but with that being said, when we mention this, a lot of times, you know, people check out. A lot of guys check out. Um and you know, the short of it is that we've spent generations acting like mental

Mental Health And Hidden Stress

SPEAKER_00 11:21

health is someone else's conversation, right? It just hasn't been on the table for us as a community. Of course, that has changed a lot, I would say, in the past five years. There's a lot more awareness in the community, there's a lot more understanding, there's more advancements in perspective and dialogue about it. But uh I think we have a long way to go. You know, I think that we still have a long way to go, but at least the stigma is changing, the the view uh is is changing. But I know one thing, and and I and I can even say this personally for men, you know, a lot of men are walking around carrying stress levels that would crush a lot of people. Um uh the the the fact of trying to provide, protect, figure things out, hold everything together, including, you know, friends, family, members, uh, relationships, all these different things, you know, trying to appear confident when they when they don't have a clue what's around the corner, what's coming next, what they're gonna do, um, but still having to try to be strong for everybody else while quietly falling apart themselves. And that does sound a bit uh morbid and um um gloomy, uh, but that is the reality for a lot of men on the day-to-day basis. And the thing about stress is that it doesn't disappear just because you if refuse to acknowledge it. As a matter of fact, it builds even more, it settles in your body, and that stress can show up as a headache or high blood pressure, insomnia, anger, isolation. Um, you know, sometimes you might even just stop enjoying the things you used to love and you don't know why. Sometimes you might be short-tempered with people who don't deserve it. You're lashing out, you know, you might feel disconnected from your own life. And the scary part is a lot of men experience these things without ever realizing they're dealing with stress or anxiety or depression. You know, they don't have the vocabulary or or they're just not privy to uh uh understanding how it works because, like I said earlier, the conversation wasn't there, or they just may write it off. You know, they don't believe in all that type of stuff. But you know, there is uh evidence and um research done on these things. Um, you know, but a lot of men are just like, hey, this is what it is to be a man, this is what it is to be an adult. Um and you know, that's just not true. Um but that leads me to another uh another facet about health, right? And that is rest. A lot of times rest is simply uh a big cause of a lot of health issues in men because why? You don't get enough sleep, right? That that FOMO is a real thing, the fear of missing out. Um, you know, so on top of that, there's been a culture created amongst men where uh, you know, we treat being tired and exhausted like it's an achievement. You know, guys brag about being tired. I only slept four hours. I've been working nonstop, I didn't take a vacation all year. You know, that's not something to brag about, right? Burnout is not some kind of trophy. Working yourself to death is not something you should be proud of because at the end of the day, are we really on this planet just to be working machines, working robots? You know, I beg to differ.

Sleep, Burnout, And Work As Escape

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I think that the planet Earth and life has a lot more to offer than us um, you know, clocking in 40, 50, 60 hours a week or whatever the case. Um, and a lot of times for men, you know, that is the view. Uh that's the viewpoint. Like I just gotta work, work, work, work, work. Even men, a lot of men use that as a coping mechanism for the stress. I'm just gonna work and keep on working so I don't have to think or worry about anything else that's stressing me out. Um, right? And these are the guys that aren't going to see therapists, these are the guys that aren't trying to do any mental uh health exercises to help. They're using work as a coping, a coping mechanism. So um, you know, to wrap that up, I just want to say sleep matters, right? Recovery matters, your peace matters, so you have to find time to figure that out. You have to find time to to recuperate. You have to find time uh to to recuperate. So um that that helps you be more focused. It helps you to be even and what's crazy is that you'll be more locked in if you get if you get the right type of rest. If you get the t right type of rest, you'll be more locked in. So um, yeah, so yeah, guys, these are just a couple of things I wanted to talk about on a podcast, you know, just to remind everybody about mental health uh uh month, well men's men's health month. The thing about it is not just mental health, it's physical health as well. Um and I don't like to to, I'm not gonna say I don't like to talk about this, but I'm not pointing any fingers when it when when it comes to the physical side of things, because uh, you know, I got a lot of work to do. I'm not even gonna say I'm pointing fingers with the the mental side either, because I got a lot of work to do there as well. So when I talk about these things, um, you know, it's it's I'm looking in the mirror, you know, uh on on a lot of these things because I know that it's not easy to talk about your feelings and it's not easy to try to confide in somebody or um you know just kind of relate to somebody about how you feel or what's going on in your life. Um but if if you if you take nothing, nothing from this podcast, I do want to say, and I've you know I've kind of mentioned this uh in some some previous pods before, but it it it can't be overstated just how important it is to have a release. Right, so there's a term called uh catharsis, which um I believe its origin uh has to do with uh plays. Um it's uh um a liter uh a literary term basically when the character has this emotional release um at at some point in the plot where they just kind of expel all of their uh grievances, demons, whatever you want to call them, this catharsis is had,

Finding Your Catharsis And Release

SPEAKER_00 19:35

and henceforth that character is um relieved, right? There's a big relief because all of the tension that has been built up throughout the story um has finally been released from the character. And you know, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and they can see clearly now that the rain is gone and all these, you know, all that type of stuff. But uh the point that I'm making is that I think we all have to find our uh moment of catharsis. We all need to figure out what that looks like for us. So whether that's talking and confiding in a friend or finding a good uh finding a good therapist or um, you know, journaling about it or creating your music or your poetry or whatever it is um, you know, that's gets your brain going in a creative way, but also in a way that um allows you to de-stress, right? Decompress, right? All these different terms that um at the end of the day is only going to be more helpful for your mind, body, and soul. So with that, I will leave you guys. Uh hopefully you enjoyed this episode. Hopefully, some of the things I said made sense and you are uh having a good June or or will have a good June. Um and I do also want to say, reach out to some of your some of the guys in your family. See if they're okay, see if if if you know if if anything is going on, because like I said, guys, we don't talk that much, but we will respond, right? We will answer questions and we will uh you know we'll we'll let you know if if you ask. But we you know, we don't want to bother nobody with our issues, but you know, just ask. So definitely reach out. Um, you know, we'll wrap this up, and ops will be back for the next for the next uh podcast episode. So don't worry about that. I'm sure we'll have a lot of good things uh to discuss and let you guys know um and keep you updated. So with that, Pops and Sun conversations, we are out. See you next time. Peace.