Purpose Is Not A Paycheck With Better Branding

If your days feel like a loop of work, stress, and scrolling, the problem might not be your motivation, it might be your direction. We talk about finding your purpose in a world full of noise, where social media, politics, and constant hot takes can pull you into reaction mode. When you don’t control the narrative of your own life, you can end up living inside someone else’s script, and that makes purpose feel confusing, distant, or “not for you.”

From our father and son perspectives, we dig into how your background and environment shape what you believe is possible. We unpack “grooming” in a positive, practical way: mentorship, access to tools, real support, and community. We also challenge the idea that you have to suffer to grow. Resilience matters, but so does positioning, especially when we talk about generational wealth and setting up the next generation to choose growth instead of pure survival.

We get honest about purpose versus paycheck, and the difference between making a living and making a life. We share examples of people who pivot when plans change and find more fulfillment through impact, not just income. Then we bring it home to fatherhood: cultivating a child’s curiosity, keeping doors open, and helping them discover their gifts before the world tells them to play it safe. If you’re sorting through passion, purpose, and what you’re called to do, this conversation will help you take the next clear step.

Subscribe for more Pops and Son Conversations, share this with someone who feels stuck, and leave a review so more listeners can find us. What’s one decision you could make this week that moves you closer to purpose?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Welcome to another amazing episode of Pops and Son Conversations. As always, your favorite father and son duo. Starting with your favorite Silver Fox Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

And ending with Mr. Check Three Times checking in.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

And here we are. What up, Jay? What's happening?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Yo, what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Everything's good. You know, everything's good, man. We're uh we're closing in on the month of July. You know, uh, July was was really interesting, man. You know, so much going on on social media, uh, a lot of pollux, uh, politics, a lot of political situations going on. Uh, you know, still dealing with social

Welcome And Controlling The Narrative

SPEAKER_00 1:38

justice. Good grief. You know, it's it's just so much happening. And it's like uh if you don't control the narrative, then you'll get caught up in the propaganda.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Yeah, uh, you know, that's that's definitely a fair point. It's a lot of propaganda out there, and it and it just gets crazy about a minute with so many different tools people using to stir stuff up just to get reactions.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Yeah, yeah. Hey, yeah, I like how you said that, man. Tools and stir. Okay, come on with it. Come on with it, Jay. All right, so look, guys, uh uh another topic that was submitted by our audience, and we love you guys. You know, thank you so much for your support with uh everything, uh, from our social media, uh, just to what we have going on. Um we uh we have a special announcement um August 1st. So uh so we'll let you guys know uh what that is. Um we're really excited about you know this this uh this new venture, this opportunity. And so we'll talk about that a little bit uh a little bit later. Uh what is the topic that was submitted for us, Jay, that we're gonna go ahead and embark on?

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, so topic for this episode uh really cool. Uh I think we'll you know give

Listener Topic And August Announcement

SPEAKER_01 3:02

give the listeners what they want, but it's gonna be finding your purpose.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Uh, you know, uh, from my perspective, of course, you know, what what's important about that? Why is it um, you know, so essential to discover why you are here before life decides for you.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Oh, whoa, whoa, man, that that hit me like a ton of bricks, man. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

I mean, it's and and it's one of those things that, you know, when you think about, at least for me, um, and it's crazy because I've written about this, I actually have a line

Why Purpose Has To Come First

SPEAKER_01 3:42

in one of my poems where I say, you know, am I determined to waste my existence or do I exist to determine my purpose? You know, and that that line is actually is actually, I pulled it from an older poem, but um, you know, really what that means to me, man, is like, you know, we're we're all here, and some of us are trying to figure out why, you know, why we're here, and some of us have a harder time than others figuring that out. You know, it can be tough to to find that, um, especially here in America where just kind of how we talked about earlier, man, it's so many different um, you know, we get bombarded with so much of how we should be or what we should do or what our lives should look like. Um, you know, it can be tough. It can be tough to figure that out. So I um, you know, this episode, you know, I think we should get into that and shed some light on it, what it means, and you know, maybe some few pointers on how you could uh get along with that.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah, I love that. You know, uh jumping right in, you know, uh we get to a point to where depending on your background, depending on, you know, your community, depending on, you know, your family dynamic, uh, your what I call marinade, which is the ingredients that that creates who you are, you know, a lot of times you can be in a a path of positioning to thrive. And then sometimes, you know, you're uh in a situation where you're a circumstance uh of uh your environment, you know. So I think that we always have to look at what that foundation is,

Grooming Through Access And Support

SPEAKER_00 5:38

you know, before we can even move for uh any further. And yeah uh, you know how we had talked about this before, the word grooming has been so tainted, you know, it's it's been misused, misappropriated, uh, in my personal opinion. Uh I think grooming is very important. And Jay, you know, we we've had in-depth conversations about this, and you know, for me, grooming is is setting a pathway of uh of a successful path, meaning access to tools, uh resources, uh support, um, a community that's gonna help you uh along the way. Uh, I I truly believe that if you don't have to struggle in life, um to you know, to a certain extent, then uh don't like it, you know, but some people get to a point to where they're like, no, I don't want any help, I want to figure this out on my own. Why why why why not get to a point to where you don't have to fall all the way down because the whole goal is is when you're up, bring others up. Yeah, not get to the top and now I'm here. So if you have if you understand uh each one, teach one, then no, you you don't have to go through such a hardship to understand and appreciate uh you know having access to resources and tools. Um, if if there was a way that I could prevent it any type of major struggle, because I understand that you know resilience is powerful, it's powerful to be able to come out of any type of circumstance, even if it was life-threatening, and you were able to overcome that with uh you know God's mercy and grace. But I don't believe that that God wants us to struggle. He may want us to um overcome obstacles, but but why why struggle? I I don't feel like we need to struggle to get to a point of appreciation, you know, and and uh that's just something that I feel like in our community it is um it's heavily praised. And uh and the reason why I say that, Jay, is because people that do have access to resources are um are talked about. They're they're criticized, they're ridiculed. Like, you know, you you didn't um get it out the mud. You you don't know what lack is, you don't know what struggle is. Well, I don't want to. You know what I mean? I don't want to. I I want access to the finer things in life, I want access to the to the tools and resources because I believe that we should come from abundance, not have to create it. I believe that generational wealth should have existed before us. Obviously, it's not everybody's plight, it's not our plight, but I believe that's how it should be. I believe by the time that uh Kingsley, uh by the time that uh Parker, by the time that Cairo was 18 years old a piece, they should have access to M's. Yeah. They should have with all the experience of the grandparents, great-grandparents, their uh uh parents and those around them, there's no reason why resources and tools aren't put in place to where when they're 18 years old, they don't have to go and find a job paying minimum wage. Or even if they decide to go to college, they don't have to go and get a uh a job to have extra money in their pocket. If they decide to travel the world and go to the military, they're doing it because they want that training, that experience, not because that's access to things that they do not have. And that's how I feel like when you start talking about purpose, it should not necessarily come from a struggle. Now it can come from a need, it can it can come from a necessity uh uh of uh changing the trajectory, but it should not come from a deep struggle because Jay, honestly, it's harder to uh come up from that deep struggle than it is to to find peace and balance without struggle. That's where I'm at. And this comes from you know, 50 years on this earth, uh, you know, becoming a parent, you know, in my teens, uh, being in the military, uh, being in the corporate world, being an entrepreneur, uh, being a business owner, being you know, affiliated in different industries, and and if if I could have changed anything, it would be positioning those after me. That's what I would change. Positioning those after me. But because of my personal experience, I had to spend this time coming up, just just getting to level ground. Yeah. And so, you know, I want our community to really understand when we start talking about this, because a lot of times people have to choose a purpose versus a paycheck.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

That's deep. Yeah, because it and I mean it's deep, but it's also just a little um grim when you think about it. Um, unfortunately, uh a lot of people don't really see uh another option outside of that. Um, you know, they look at it as uh the purpose is to go and and get that paycheck because that's what's going to um, you know, afford everything, you know, pay their bills and and stuff like that. So I think that is definitely tough. And I and I get what you're saying about uh uh the struggle. I just think

Abundance Mindset And Generational Wealth

SPEAKER_01 13:42

that when you are in it, I think it's harder to kind of envision your way out of it, especially if you're not seeing um it around you. Uh I think that's uh a big part of why a lot of people, our our people specifically, kind of get caught in that in on on the hamster wheel, um, you know, on the paycheck, because they don't they don't really see uh or or maybe they don't have. And like you said, the access is a is a big part of it. And that's why we gotta uh continue to strive to make that change. But um, you know, I I think there is uh uh a lot of merit in understanding the difference between making a living and making a life. Um that that paycheck, you know, you just you just making a living, you know, you just living to to to the next day, you know what I mean. And when you think about it, is that how God really intended for us to spend our time on this earth? I I I would like to think that um, you know, that's not true. You know, I I I don't think that that we're meant to just be on here working until we die. Um, you know, I think that we should be able to enjoy all these different natural wonders of the world. Like we we should be able to take time to to see that and experience that, but you can't do that when you just continuously, you know, working, working, working to make a living. You're not making a life like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

That's powerful, man.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

You know what? Um when when you're when you're saying this, uh it it's reminding me of a few people that have had careers, and the careers were either um shortened, but they found their purpose, and it's actually uh more fulfilling and more impactful. Oh, yeah. Um I I look at your boy uh you know Inky? Inky Johnson?

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Um, I'm not I'm not familiar.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

So uh so Inky Johnson is uh motivational speaker um that had an opportunity to play um college ball, and he was very close to to uh going pro and he dislocated his shoulder

Purpose Versus Paycheck Reality

SPEAKER_00 16:22

um to the point where uh I think he had some tendons. He he he had a lot going on to where you know obviously he's not able to play, and uh and it actually put him you know in a situation to where uh he he he has some challenges now, um, even with a shoulder and his arm and things like that. But he's become one of the most powerful motivational, uh, inspirational speakers, very powerful. Um, another another one is uh it's your boy Shelton that used to play football. Um uh you know about Shelton, right? Uh the motivational speaker. Um Shelton Shelton also uh played ball for a while, and uh he wound up becoming uh one of the most sought-after motivational speakers, um and content you know, creators. And and what I'm saying is uh these are people that started out you know making money or potentially making money one way, but uh use the their situations to uh pivot to make impact versus you know pivot to uh to get empathy. And you know, we can go on and on, um, but we can use real life examples. There's people that you know um uh were in the medical field, like myself, uh, but people that you know maybe have done you know different things and now in a different arena and industry, and they're making so much more impact, and it may not have started out like impact financially, but more um externally fulfilling and um well internally uh fulfilling and externally impactful, you know. And and I think that everybody can relate, everybody has been on a job, everybody has done something to where you're like, you know what, I could do better. Um, I can do better, meaning I can do something more fulfilling, I can do something that uh I'd be I'd be more proud of, something I can actually see myself doing long term versus just you know trying to trying to uh get to the next thing. And um, you know, we can all relate to that, but you know, we have to give our give ourselves some permission to evolve, you know, and uh and understand that uh our purpose is isn't always just one destination, you know, it could definitely unfold um as we uh as we uh season and as we experience those things. So um I I think that's where we're at. But yeah, I do want to ask you now, I want to talk about a father's responsibility uh when it comes to finding finding purpose. And and that's kind of how I was talking about, you know, when I was mentioning grooming. Like this is what I mean by grooming. Yeah. It's you know, the father's responsibility in you know, creating opportunities given access. So uh what do you think you know are a few key things that as fathers that are really must-do's? Like we have to make sure that we make sure that our family and our our kids have access to what?

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah, I think I think that defin definitely the keys are um just kind of cultivating what the child like is naturally inclined toward. Um basically helping them discover who they

Real Pivots That Create Impact

SPEAKER_01 20:02

are. Um, because I think a lot of times kids, and it's it's such a beautiful thing to watch, um, you know, just kind of what they gravitate towards or what they naturally like and what they dislike as they come into, you know, into themselves, as they develop into, you know, who they are. So I think it's it's mad important to just encourage uh their curiosity. Because that's one thing that I think we lose over time. Like we as we age, we become a lot more rigid, we become a lot more stuck in our ways, we kind of are uh we don't want to be as open. But children, you know, they're curious about so many different things, and they just kind of want to know, uh, they want to experience it. So I think it's important to to cultivate that and not shut it down or or or or not limit them because you just kind of never know uh what they're gonna get into that could end up being something that's super fulfilling for them. You know what I mean? And and what what it boils down to when you think about purpose is um what fulfills you, you know what I mean? Like like you said, like what is gonna bring you uh uh if you feel like you have uh a meaning or or something that you're doing, it's not just wasting your time, like you feel good doing it, you can do it long term. So I think encouraging the curiosity is super important, and then uh also just creating opportunities. As a father, I think your responsibility for sure is to be able to create those opportunities, um uh open those doors, you know, as many as possible. You know what I mean? Just as many as possible, do your job to create as many opportunities as possible because the more the merrier as far as the child being able to explore, you know, explore their dreams, explore their interests, and and and and kind of aid them and guide them into becoming who they are, whatever path they want to go down, whatever purpose they feel like. Um just being just totally open. Um so yeah, I would say those are a few key things um I could think of off top.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Yeah, for sure. You know, I think that that's uh extremely important, you know, and just kind of thinking about you know your gifts and your passion. I think we kind of get caught up in in what our passion is, thinking that it's our purpose. But I think, you know, um I think our purpose has to be discovered. I think naturally you just you discover what your um you display what your gifts are, uh you you curate and cultivate those. You become passionate about certain things that you know you um get exposure to, and you're like, you know what, this is something that I love doing. I uh uh you don't have to pay me to do it. But we also have to understand when it comes to purpose, it's bigger than who we are. Right. That passion is gonna be self-fulfilling, but purpose is gonna be, you know, obviously way more impactful. And it's gonna require some things of you,

Passion Versus Purpose And Sacrifice

SPEAKER_00 23:24

right? You're gonna have to get better to be more effective. You're gonna have to have sacrifices so that uh, you know, before you start even thinking about what the rewards are, uh, whether your uh social media accounts are gonna grow, whether folks are gonna start offering you brand deals and things like that, you know, that purpose is is really what is going to sustain you because once you discover what your purpose is, once you come uh once you actually start curating it, you become better with your purpose. You're gonna realize that it not only is it bigger than you, but it it's going to grow you. And it can grow you at rapid speed because you know, now we're talking about uh the effects of who you are, of your evolution, of your efforts, and you know, you being very intentional um about what your purpose is, and maybe even helping other people discover what theirs are. And so, man, I think that that's a a pretty powerful moment that not everybody gets to, Jay. Uh, a lot of people they get stuck because they they feel like uh because they're not of a certain status, because they're not making uh X amount of dollars, because they don't have the notoriety, um, those type of things, is they feel like they're they're missing their purpose and it's not uh within reach. And uh, you know, I'm here to tell you that no matter where you are at in your life right now, uh there is a purpose for you. There is an assignment that God has given to you. And and let's be honest, man, it don't matter what state you're in. And I ain't talking about location, I'm talking about what state that you're in mentally, emotionally, physically, financially. Once uh you you make a decision, a real, focused, intentional decision, God's gonna provide what you need to help you get to where you need to be so that you can not only operate in your purpose, but you can make impact. It's gonna take eight. That's it. Well, look, uh, that being said, I think uh we we kind of dealt with this. We might revisit it, um, but we want to thank you guys always for giving us the topics, the subjects, uh to uh to explore. And remember, you know, we're given our personal perspectives. Uh you do what's best for you, do what's best uh to get the best outcome. But we want to give you an opportunity to look at things a little bit differently, and we also want to give you the uh the chance to see, you know, the mindset of uh of two fathers, two men, and a father and son. And so that's why we're excited every single episode to give you what you need as we proceed to give them what they need. Hey, so look, we're gonna go ahead and sign out, catch up on all the

Mindset Shift And Closing Thanks

SPEAKER_00 26:41

episodes, and make sure you look for the next one on all platforms. Again, it's your favorite Sil Fox, Rob Malloy.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Check, check, check three times, check it out.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Pops and Sun Conversations. We'll see you guys next episode.