Pops and Son Conversations
Join US Air Force Veteran, Presidential Achievement Award Recipient, author, philanthropist, and social media influencer, Rob Malloy, and his son, author and model, Javan Anderson, as they navigate the generation gap with humor and heart.
On this podcast, Rob and Javan tackle a wide range of topics – from life lessons and fatherhood to current events and pop culture – offering a unique blend of old-school wisdom and new-school perspectives. Expect lively debates, unexpected insights, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Tune in to Pops and Son Conversations and discover:
- Candid conversations: Rob and Javan share their honest thoughts and experiences, providing a refreshing take on intergenerational relationships.
- Diverse perspectives: Hear how Rob's traditional values intersect with Javan's modern outlook, creating dynamic and engaging discussions.
- Humor and heart: Enjoy a show that's both entertaining and thought-provoking, leaving you with a smile and something to ponder.
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Pops and Son Conversations
Gender Roles In 2026
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The gender role conversation gets loud online, but the real conflict shows up at home when expectations don’t match. We sit down as Pops and Son to talk through the modern relationship tension we keep seeing: independent women who built stability on their own, men who feel judged by a “checklist,” and couples trying to figure out what fairness looks like in 2026.
We get into what people mean by traditional gender roles and why biology, parenting, and safety still influence how many households operate. Then we challenge the idea that every responsibility is automatically “his” or “hers” by nature, and ask where those rules come from in the first place. From career choices to autonomy and purpose, we explore why some partners want structure while others want flexibility, and how resentment starts when one person wants shared chores but still expects the other person to carry most of the financial load.
The middle of the conversation tackles the hybrid household head-on: if both people work 40 to 50 hours, how should dinner, cleaning, and bills be handled? We also talk about parenting realities like maternity leave, daycare, homeschooling, and the emotional labor that money can’t measure. And yes, we ask the question that instantly reveals people’s values: who should answer the door at 1 a.m.?
We wrap by putting it back on you with two big prompts for part two: do you believe gender roles should still exist, and if one partner earns more, should they pay more regardless of gender? If this hit a nerve, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review, then tell us where you draw the line on roles and responsibility.
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Welcome And September Catch-Up
SPEAKER_01Welcome to another episode of Pops and Son Conversations. And as always, it is your favorite silver fox, Rob Malloy.
SPEAKER_00And right behind that, it is the poet that you ain't even know it. Mr. Check Three Times checking in.
SPEAKER_01Mr. Check Trey Times. What's up, Jay? How you feeling?
SPEAKER_00Check Trey. Yeah, I'm feeling good, Pops. I'm feeling good. Um, how you feeling? You alright?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, I'm good. You know, I'm really excited about this particular episode. I was thinking that there's no way we can get just the entire topic off in one episode, even if we had gone on for hours, man. This is one of those episodes that just kind of keeps going, keeps evolving, and uh and keeps everybody's attention. But uh before we do that, uh September, we welcome you.
SPEAKER_00Welcome, September. Hey, we're getting through getting through the years. It's uh it's passing by.
SPEAKER_01It is, man. It's really happening. August was uh very eventful. Uh, we still got some things going on. We got to get through September, man, so we can get the Libra Nation. Yeah, that's where it starts. That's all I'm thinking about, man. Got the Leos out the way, the Virgos trying to make some noise, man. But uh, nothing like the Libras. Boy, oh boy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, nothing like the Libras. I know so many Libras. It's kind of it's kind of crazy. I think I know more Libras than any other sign. What? Oh man, yeah, yeah, it's true.
SPEAKER_01Hey, well, good company travels fast. So look, uh, let's go ahead and jump right
The Checklist Culture In Dating
SPEAKER_01in. So I'm gonna just go ahead and pop off with this thing, man. So so Jay, you know, I was talking to you about this topic, and I was like, uh, it stems from you know my social media posts, and you know, 90, I don't know, maybe 93, 95 percent of my audience is are women. And if you break it down a little bit more, uh the age group is like 45 and up. 45 enough, 45 to 65, you know, you know, the grown grown women.
SPEAKER_00Yes, grown women.
SPEAKER_01So um, so what sparked this topic was when you know we were talking about kind of talking about leadership and talking about, you know, uh the proverbial checklist, if you will, uh that the guys need to have for a certain, I don't know, audience or caliber of women. You know, they got this checklist, and uh, you know, these guys gotta come correct, Jay. Like they gotta, you know, have uh some money in the account. They gotta have aimfully employed, which you know, okay, you know, stability, I get that, man. But but now you start talking about what a brother needs to be able to do, almost to where you're trying to build a man, you know what I'm saying? So yeah, so I just want to go ahead and jump into this thing, man. I want to talk about uh gender roles, especially in 2026, you know, where we're at now. Let's just be real, man. There's a lot more uh quote unquote independent women, you know, around than it was, you know, 15, 20, 30, 40 years ago.
SPEAKER_00Oh, sure then.
SPEAKER_01What I mean by independent, Jay is I'm just talking about, you know, she got her own house, she got her own car, right? Right. Just like Moosey and Webby was talking about, you know. So she she's basically you know holding things down uh with without a male figure um in the household. So, you know, how do you even feel? Like, do you understand the plight of of a quote unquote independent woman when it comes to like the gender roles?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know if I could um ever really understand the plight, but I do think that kind of speaking on what you were talking about earlier with the checklist and things like that, uh I do think it, I think it's interesting that um I guess I wouldn't say maybe not masculinity. I'm maybe it is masculinity since we're talking about generals, that's masculine feminine. So I do think that the masculinity is often um challenged when a man doesn't meet these uh these requirements. It's almost like you get discarded, maybe as like let maybe not less of a man, but you you get put into a different category. You know, they say there's high value men, there's this, that, and the third. But when you don't meet those certain uh checklists, like you were saying, you you know, you get bumped off off into a lower tier. And I think that's unfair. If there's any plight, I think that there's a male plight from that perspective. But on the independent women list, I'm not sure if they if they deal with that, if if there's that distinction there. Um actually, I'm I'm I'm not gonna act like I'm not unsure. I I know there's not that that type of distinction because it's not coming from uh the men, uh the men's side. Do you uh do you you get what I'm kind of going? What what I'm saying? I see where you're going.
SPEAKER_01I but I want you to spit it out though. I I don't want you to feel any type of way because let's let's be real candid on on this episode because I think it's gonna help our listeners. When women aren't talking or mention high-valued men. Well, women aren't saying that. Matter of fact, they're challenging high-value men. They're they're trying to figure out well, what makes a man a high value? Is it because of what it what he has, or is it because of you know what he's projecting? Um, but they do mention alpha women. Women say alpha women all the time, right? But they won't say high-valued man. So that's really interesting. But I just want to kind of dig in because we can let's let's talk about traditional.
Traditional Roles And Biology Today
SPEAKER_01And when I say traditional, I mean kind of going back historically. Uh I say traditional. So, you know, we got to go back to where, you know, uh for the most part, you know, the man he went out and hunted and brought home, you know, the uh the the food for the wife to uh cook. That's right. And handle that. And so that's what I mean by traditional. Now, obviously that has evolved, right? Because uh we've become more domesticated. And so now a man doesn't have to go out there and and and slaughter per se. He can go out there and earn income, uh, you know, with a trade, uh, with with you know some type of sources, and and yet and still the woman has still been for the most part designated as uh the more domestic side, meaning raising the children, cleaning up the house, uh kind of taking care of things. And and and let's be honest, right? That worked. Uh I don't I don't know where um the woman is going out. Uh and I'm saying to where it's it's functional, not dysfunctional. The woman is going out, uh, the man is staying home, uh nurturing the kids, taking care of the household. I don't I don't foresee that, you know, and I haven't seen that uh even as we're in 2026. So traditional, of course, we're talking about the woman being more of the nurturer, maintaining the home and things like that, and and obviously the man going out there to wake. Um I think the distinction is even biological because you know, physically men are stronger. Um men are more logical, right? And been more practical. And I think that women uh historically has definitely been the nurturing, the the nurturer. And uh, I mean, they're the ones that have children, they're the ones that breastfeed, they're the ones that you know um take care of the kids and in terms of uh you know, just making sure that they're good, and then the man kind of oversees that. That's to me, that's traditional. That that's traditional.
SPEAKER_00Um traditional, cultural, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, you know, uh our our culture at least, you know, that that could even been be uh broken down uh into some you know some subtopics. But I just wanted to establish that um because we're also talking about the biological sex differences, uh, which I think makes makes a lot more sense too, because uh men aren't breastfeeding kids, right? Um that's just something that God has provided, you know, for women to be able to do uh naturally. Now, whether they do it or not, that's on them. So just just
Choice Versus Pressure For Careers
SPEAKER_01kind of allowing that to be the standard, um, let's let's talk about tradition real quick so we can kind of get into uh gender roles, even if we even if we progress, uh I don't want to go into a history lesson, but even if we progress, you know, uh women have be have been in the workforce, you know, for some time now. Um, but Jay, I I really want to dig into this, even though they are in the workforce, heavily in the workforce, um, thriving in education and things like that, do you truly believe that is because that's something that they wanted to do to prove that they could do it? Do you think that that was something that they was forced to do? Or or do you think that uh just because the option is there, they wanted to exercise it um because the household dynamic has changed?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it all has, uh I think it all takes apart into it. Um definitely mainly just like the advances that I mean, I can say advances, but also just the changes um that have uh have occurred in uh you know women's financial status, education, all the different things that we see and the data shows. But I I think overall I I feel like a lot of times we we assign like we assign gender to stuff and then we we forget that that that we assign it. So it's like gender, there's like there's like fundamentally genderless things, right, that that we say, like so somebody will say, oh, that like that's not what a woman should do, or that's not manly, but it's like okay, why? Or why not? Like, is there is there something inherent about a particular behavior that belongs to a woman, or have we collectively decided to associate it with women? So I think a lot of a lot of women begin to see it that way, and they're like, oh wait, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't do X, Y, and Z. And then that caught that that kind of caused them to, and I feel like it took a while because I mean, you know, let's be honest, the traditional way had its, it had its um benefits, but a lot of women also felt like they were oppressed in many ways. They felt like they couldn't express themselves in particular ways. They felt like it there was no equality among certain things, you know, the, you know, they they they didn't feel like they had autonomy over themselves or agency over themselves. A lot of women felt like this, and I'm not like I'm not saying this, I'm just um repeating things that I've seen um, you know, spoken by women online and things like this. Um and I'm sure there's like you know, different texts or whatever. But to answer your question, I feel like it's a combination of all those things, but also women like realizing, like, hey, like just like the Nike commercial used to come on back in the day, you know, anything you can do, I can do better. Maybe not, but they feel like they can, you know, do certain things that maybe once were like off limits to them at some point, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that that makes sense to a certain extent.
Hybrid Homes Chores And Bills
SPEAKER_01Um, uh the the only issue that I've had is because um it you want to a lot of the women they want to hybrid, right? They they want a hybrid. So they they want to go out, establish careers, um, but because they're working, then they want to come home to a household and now have shared um responsibilities, right? So so there's a lot of women out here that are like, okay, you know, uh he works 40-50 hours a week, I work 40-50 hours a week. So when when I come home, um I want dinner, or he has two hands, he can he can make dinner. We're both working. And so the the issue with that for me is if if that is the case, um, if that is the case, are you open to having a hybrid of responsibilities? Like uh, are you okay paying the mortgage? Uh are you okay with him paying the utilities? Right? So if we can do it, can we can we go full throttle? Can we not do a hybrid um of that? Because when you when you think about it, when you think about the more traditional roles, think about what that household looked like. Think about when when the the woman was more domesticated, uh, she was able to stay home, raise the children. Uh, these kids aren't now going to uh daycares and and nursery, and now you're not worried about you know what goes on there. Um, but also at the same time, uh she she does have uh a lot of of opportunity. And what I mean by that is with things changing, you you can now have home-based businesses, you can have front-run uh e-commerce type type thing. So it doesn't have to be more of your um you know, maybe more traditional, traditional jobs that they may choose to do. Now, I'm not saying that, you know, if she's uh uh in the C-suites, you know, don't do that. I mean, but at the same time, I mean, what what are the percentages of the women that are in C-suites? Right. And then you break it down to what are the the percentages of the women in the C-suites that are actually married or still married? And so the dynamics, man, it gets really interesting when you start looking at what goes on in the household. What why uh did she choose this particular career? That that goes back to my first uh question. Did she do it to prove? Like who is she trying to prove it to? Um, is it for the betterment of the household? Because this is this is what I really want to uh to delve in. As men, there's a lot of times we have certain careers, we take certain jobs not because of the luxury, not because, okay, you know what, this is what I want to explore. We do it because it's a a higher paying job, it's it's a skill set that we have. Um, and you know, it's again for the betterment of the entire household. We'll we'll take a higher paying job that we may not necessarily want to do forever if it allows our wife to have more flexibility at home. So, so I want I want our listeners to think about that, and I want the ladies to really give me a better understanding when you start talking about certain careers. Is that a personal agenda or is it for the betterment of the entire household? Because I feel like that's that's a sacrifice that that men make all the time. That we'll take a certain job because we know it's gonna pay more. We're gonna do certain things to position our family, not to position our personal, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Nah, that I that makes that does that does make a lot of sense. And you know, I I'm not gonna act like I have a lot of experience um or knowledge on that. I would I would like to think that women who who do that are doing it for, you know, the betterment of the family. I mean, we did just talk about how they are uh the nurturers and and the the gender, the feminine um, you know, the gender kind of deals with, I mean, you know, raising the kids, taking care of kids, the family, and things like that. So I I would think that they would have that in mind if they're pursuing um, you know, careers that are gonna bring them more money and and you know, put them in a uh a better financial position. I'm not sure what the personal part about that would be, other than like you said, just like maybe trying to prove something. But then, but then again, I could kind of understand that too, because it's like it for all this time, women haven't been able to do that. So I kind of like I kind of get it. Like they just want to do it just to be one of those, like you said, what percentage of women are there? It there's not a lot, so you have to imagine that there are a lot of women that aspire to be in that position so they could be one of the ones. Like we always hear about, and this is just an example, we hear about how like ever so often you hear about the first black person that was, you know, had this position or or that position and this, that and the third. Like to be that that first is like a big deal. So I I imagine that maybe that is the the thought process a lot of women have when they pursue uh those jobs and careers outside of the household. But that's just my take this as I'm sitting here thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, cool, cool. Let's keep let's keep it moving. All right, so um let's kind of dig in about uh gender roles
Parenting Work And Maternal Leave
SPEAKER_01after children, um, because I think that that will kind of bring home a little bit more of things like that. So we know when it comes down to uh you know parenting and things like that, um I don't know too many men that are taking maternal leave. I don't even know if if there is something that protects a man to maybe be home with his wife during uh uh the maternal um portion. I've never heard of anything like that. So I don't I don't know about FMLA and and and what that does. But so when we think about that, when we think about that, there's accommodations that are made for women, right? So um I think that that that speaks volumes to what I was saying. So if a woman does not have to work, um if she does have uh the opportunity to maybe homeschool the child, uh she doesn't have to worry about you know daycare or finances, she doesn't she doesn't even have to worry about uh a portion of any of the bills uh for the household. And and he's able to do that. Uh the the man is able to do that. So why or at what point would she want to specifically get out of the house? Uh at what age uh you know do you say, okay, I've been homeschooling my child uh one through six, and and now I'm going into you know uh middle school or anything like that. Now I want to kind of jump out here and get into the workforce if that's not what she has had to do. And so as we dig into the gender roles, I want to really dig into uh gender roles, you know, after children. So I think that real test is uh is what that structure looks like uh at home. And and uh again, I think it has uh a lot to do with what that dynamic is like. So, you know, again, if if she doesn't have to do that, uh why would she? And and what and what does that do for the betterment of the home? So do you you know, would you think that getting in the workforce, putting the children, you know, into uh after school care, uh public schools and whatnot, i is that a better option than being at home with the child? Is that a better option? Uh I don't know. I I you know I what would you okay, so let's let's do this. What would I get your life to do? That way you can answer you can answer other things.
SPEAKER_00Right. So in a perfect scenario, what would I want my wife to do? I think I would want my wife to do um probably whatever she wanted to do, what she's more comfortable with. Because I I I think at the end of the day, if she's in a position where she feels like she is it's like compulsory, like she's doing it because it's a role that she has to do. I mean, it kind of goes back to what I'm saying. Like we assign gender to things that are of, you know, I mean, genderless because what stops a man? So, so like this, I have I have a I have a point right here. So fatherhood. I think fatherhood complicates uh um gender in a couple ways because traditionally we know masculinity tells us to protect the children. But within that, protecting a child sometimes it requires tenderness, comfort, admitting it wrong, apologizing, right? Crying, being emotional, emotionally available. And and these are things that we I mean, I think we would agree we would say that come to women naturally, but men sometimes struggle to apologize or be emotionally available, or we also are conditioned to not cry. So why is that though? Is that just because there's something innate, or is it because like we've assigned the gender to for men to be like that? You get what I'm saying? So I'm saying all that to say, like, if my wife wanted to stay home and she wanted to raise the kids and I could pay all the bills and do all that, and she felt no type of guilt, she didn't feel like she was missing out on life, she felt she didn't feel like she wasn't getting all out of life that she could by going to pursue a career or whatever the case it is, then we could do that. But if she said, hey, babe, you know, maybe we could, you know, do the after-school care of the day care, and I want to go and get my um uh doctorate in whatever it is, I feel like that's a conversation we could have and it's it's it's a role that we could meet in. But my main, my main thing would be like, I don't want her to because I don't I don't feel like that as a man, I'm gonna go and do what I feel like my purpose is. So I don't want my wife to be in a position to feel like she can't fulfill her purpose, or she feels like her purpose is compulsory taking care of children at the house, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so you think that her purpose outside of the household is more important, her her personal uh goals and desire outside of the household?
SPEAKER_00I think that I think that any human should have the um agency to be able to pursue their whatever they feel their purpose is. I mean, it's not for me to speak on what her purpose is. I can't say what I feel like my because then I I mean that kind of defeat to me is contradictory because if we're gonna say that um you know she has her her purposes within the household, like who is dictating that? Am I dictating that because I'm a man and I'm the husband?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I mean, I think that's what I'm asking you. So we might be able to start in that same scenario. That would be a conversation before you you marry that person. You I don't think that it should be fluid once you're married, and now you're like, okay, well, uh let's kind of figure this out. I think that that has a lot to do with commonality, uh, alignment, and making sure that the person that you're gonna be with is complimentary. Uh, so with that being said, let me ask you, would you be a stay-at-home dad and let your wife work uh full-time?
SPEAKER_00Me personally, yeah. Would you be open to that? Probably not. But again, like you said, I'm not gonna be with somebody that I mean, that's an incompatibility. Like, that's just not a situ a situation I would find myself in because I'm not gonna date someone or pursue someone to where I would be in that, in that situation. And and the same as the other way around, like in the same scenario with uh with the wife, we would assume that before they got married, before they got in all that stuff involved, like they would have that conversation of you know how they were going to carry that household, so it wouldn't be a decision made on a whim. But I was just using that like as an example. If it was me, like, yeah, we would have had that conversation and it could be open. She could stay at home or she could go work. But that of course that would be something we would talk about before we decide to get married and and build this family.
SPEAKER_01I could dig it. Okay. All right. So when we kind of dig in a little bit about what it looks like when we teach our sons,
Purpose Agency And Stay-Home Dads
SPEAKER_01um, you know, how how do you feel as far as you know, influence on what that household looks like? Is uh what are some of the things that you know you will um instill um in your son or in your uh future son as far as uh you know what his responsibilities are. Um do you think that there should at least be some standards that uh he should have? And what would be some of those things?
SPEAKER_00I'm going to impart on him um my view of masculinity and what I think that you know a man's role is in the household. Uh, I'm not just gonna give like a laundry list of things, but I do feel like there is a role for a man to play within the household. Um I think that looks different for everyone. And and as we know, it is evolving. You just talked about early in the podcast, it's not the same as it was 15, 20 years ago. So I can only imagine that as my son ages, 30, 25, 30, it's probably going to be even, you know, it's gonna change even more. So I I can't say, I could only say what um, you know, my experience uh as a man in the household. I could teach him that and I could let him, you know, absorb that. But he's gonna grow up and there's gonna be a whole new conversation on social media, and they're gonna be talking about a whole new type of gender role, reversal, and all that. So it's gonna be on him to decide, you know, how he wants to navigate that. Because also, as that changes, the dating pool's gonna change. People's opinions are gonna change, and the way groupthink works, it's almost sometimes it can work against you and make you seem like you're the crazy one for thinking a certain type of way. You know what I'm saying? If 10, if 10 people in the room think differently than you, but uh, you know, you you just know this is the right way. They can they can convince you that you're wrong just because there's enough people around, there's enough noise. Um, so for one, I think it's that's that's why it is important for me to to, like you said, set a standard for my son so he knows, hey man, at the end of the day, this is what you could fall back on. Things are gonna change, people are gonna have their opinions. The women that you date in the future may not think you know that they're gonna be influenced by the new wave or whatever the case is, but this is what you do, and I promise you that there'll be somebody out there for you that that accepts your standard, that that understands and is gonna be okay with um with how you view the household and how you view masculinity. Um, because it's not just one way. This is it's not just one you know, cookie-cutter way to say this is how a man should behave, this is how the household should be, this is how uh marriage should operate. Um so yeah, that that would be that would be my advice to him.
SPEAKER_01Okay, cool. Uh yeah, and I definitely uh get that. Uh I do feel like there is a standard, though. If we don't if we don't have any standards, then I don't I don't think that we have
Teaching Sons Standards That Hold
SPEAKER_01I'm not saying there's not a standard.
SPEAKER_00I didn't say there wasn't a standard.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I understand that, but what I'm saying is uh a standard for me would be uh you know to uh protect and provide for your household. I think that's a standard.
SPEAKER_00100.
SPEAKER_01So if if if we're talking about evolution, then evolution, we we've already dealt with that. Women women feel like they're protect protecting and providing. Do you feel that way? Have you have you heard that that energy?
SPEAKER_00I I've seen what yeah, I've seen I've seen it, and I've seen them say that men don't protect and provide whatsoever. Now I think that's completely false, and I don't agree with it.
SPEAKER_01Right. So creating uh you know, creating different narratives, I think is different than um keeping a certain standard. And I I think that we've gone away from because of because of certain situations. Now when we talk about tradition, like we talked about a little bit before, um, I I think traditional or old school, whatever you want to call it, uh still
Protection Providing And Modern Pushback
SPEAKER_01works. Um I I don't think that we've had uh statistically uh the the divorce rate going up, uh the uh uh different um blended households uh going on, uh you know, um raising you know kids within that same household. Um I think as as time you know progresses, you know, those numbers, I mean I don't know what those numbers are, but um I I think the derivative of it is not holding to a certain standard. I understand the liberation, the the freedom and and all that, but at the same time, I believe that it becomes uh uh what is the word um laissez-faire, if you will. Um, you know, people just doing what they want to do because they feel like that and not really having a certain standard. And so go kind of going back to the to the gender role, um, I don't think at any point, if we're talking about a male and a female in the same household, that that woman should be responsible for answering the door at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. at night, um uh taking out the the trash um at any point if there is a male in the house. Uh I I think that we've gotten to a point to where this fluidity is more so on on the men's side. Right? It's more so on the men. Men are being asked to uh be more um open and and understanding. Uh even if he does quote unquote, you know, his husbandly duties, he should be uh more understanding uh with the with the liberties of of what women uh should be able to do uh nowadays.
SPEAKER_00So so when you when you say fluidity, I'm I'm I'm trying to pick up what you mean because if if you mean in in in a manner that maybe men are picking up more, are you saying like more um called to be more feminine or picking up more feminine traits? Is that what you mean by fluidity?
SPEAKER_01Uh no, I'm um fluidity, I mean well, it's not traits. In my context, is is basically both of them doing the same thing and and there being no type of uh oh okay, okay.
SPEAKER_00I get that's what I mean by that. I I I get what you mean.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, like either one. Um it it's okay, uh you know, for the woman, for the woman to go downstairs and answer the store, and and he and he stays, you know, in the room and waits for her to come back. Like I I feel like there's always a distinction. And I think that there's a distinction by God, not not because of what man created, but God has made the man the stronger vessel physically. Uh, he he's made uh the woman, he's given the woman certain uh abilities that men can't will never be able to do biologically, like have children, uh breastfeed, uh, you know, go through the the whole process of clean, you know, everything that comes with that. And uh I feel like there's a fine line. So if there's a fine line with with what God has given the uh the ability to do, why shouldn't there be uh a standard to uh to follow?
SPEAKER_00No, I I mean I agree with that and I can see it. Um but I'm not I'm not sure. But but with that analogy about like answering the door, while I do agree that if there's a man and a woman in the house, the man definitely should get up and answer the door. But like I'm saying, I'm I'm not 100% sure if that's something that is like God ordained, like no man should always like I'm I'm not sure. That's why I say like sometimes I feel like we fundamentally things that aren't really genderless, we try to say the man should do this, and that's why we get uh some constraints. And I feel like that's why a lot of people don't, uh, or I think that's why some people try to uh rebel against it. And you you mentioned earlier about like the traditional way, right? So the the traditional way, um it it wasn't without uh drawbacks at the same time. Because if if it if like they say, if it ain't if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But people were coming, at least women at least, felt like there was something wrong with that traditional way. So there had to be something going on with with the traditional way to where um it just wasn't working for some people. Now I'm not saying it can never, it can't work. I think I to be honest, I think it's I I don't think it's the best way. I think probably the best thing is like, and I hate to have to say this because I think when you said hybrid earlier, it had like a negative connotation, but I think there's a hybrid between traditional and then an understanding between the two. I think that the man should lead, but I don't think the the man should should should lead um without any input from from um from his wife or his partner. I think that the decisions the man should make should um uh consider all parties involved. I mean at the end of the day, if if if it's about leading and protecting a family, um I think it would be selfish only to to make decisions on yourself without um not necessarily um well yeah, actually necessary. I I think I think you should include all parties. Well, I don't know. I I'm kind of I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm yeah I get it. I guess each each you get what I'm saying though, right? You get what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01I get it, but but we're talking about you're talking about more so of the dynamic. You do what works for your household. Now there's absolutely no doubt about that. Yeah, for strengths and weaknesses, the family should get together and and make sure that they identify that so that the household doesn't go to to to mush just to make him feel like he's a man and or to make sure uh she her feel like you know she's a woman. So I think that that has more so to do with the unique um dynamic. But when I what what I'm talking more so is is about principle, because um obviously character, education, being resourceful, whatever your your background is, like some women weren't raised to be wives, they were raised to be an independent woman because that's that may be what they have saw. Some men weren't raised to be husbands, they were raised to that's a great uh survive, right? So all that aside, you know, I want to have a more elevated conversation because I think that there is a reason why we have the population that we have. People, it's not that people weren't and aren't getting married, they are just not finding common ground, and they they don't do that till after the marriage. And so my point is I think that it's important that you see what that person, what they've been taught, uh, what they've been learned, what what they have uh experienced, because I think that that's what's going to uh really really make a difference. And and I know we got to do a part two on that. I I understand that, but when we start talking more so about the social media agenda wars, um 50-50 has been a negative connotation.
Why 50-50 Misses The Point
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're right from women, yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01From women, right? Now, there's some guys that did tell me, Oh, I I pay all the bills. Okay, you you ain't been doing that until now, right? So now that you're 45 years old, you finally got stability, you could say that, but when you when you were adolescent, when you was coming up, you you might have had you know a shorty that was taking care of you. You weren't talking about that then. So that uh but that's that. But again, uh I think the the gender role war and what I'm talking about is maybe the high value man versus the independent woman or the more traditional men and and and and women, um with the with the 50-50 battle. Now realistically, 50-50 is probably not happening, it might be 60-40. It just depends if you what you're talking about. If you're talking about emotional support, yeah, you can't do 50-50. You're talking about spiritual support, physical report, uh, you know, those type of things. All people were talking about on the 50-50 is money, and it takes more than money to have a successful household. Because if that was if that was the case, then these people, all as money, wouldn't be getting divorced, and and and busting up millions.
SPEAKER_00It's evidential, it's right there.
SPEAKER_01So so it has to be more than money, it has to come down to uh moral compass, core values, uh what how you was raised in your personal experience, and so I still think that roles will always play an important part, even when choosing your partner, because I think you'll be able to forecast if if you already know, and I think that women do this better than than guys do, they they can forecast what they're about to deal with. There, there's women out here that's like they can tell by the type of man. If if he is a guy that's like, no, I'm paying all the bills and no, uh, she ain't she ain't working, and and all she needs to do is stay home and and and uh make babies take care of the household. Now that man may give her a great lifestyle financially versus being with a guy that's gonna give her all these liberties, but they broke, or he or he don't meet a certain financial hinder. You see where I'm going here? All the liberties, all the liberties. Oh, that was funny. Like, baby, you could do you know whatever you want. I'm hard and things like that, but yeah, she wants to, she still wants a certain lifestyle, she still wants to be able to have certain things, she wants to be able to flex a little bit or whatever the case is, right? And and that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen with with with buddy, nah, it's not and so it and he's like, Well, you know, well, let's do 50-50. I work hard, you work hard. She's like, Okay, well, I can do this on my own, right? And live a better lifestyle. So, you know, in all honesty, and again, I still feel like the women do a very good job at forecasting what type of dudes to get involved with because there's plenty of women that's gonna be like, you know what? I dated a rich guy before, I dated a guy that uh you know paid all the bills, and and but this is what came with that. Right, these are the things that I had to deal with. We're not gonna we'll go into that next time, but ladies, y'all know what you're talking about, and at the same time, you're talking about this guy here just making an honest living, he's working his butt off, he's trying to cater to you, but you're bored with him. Or you feel like you deserve a better lifestyle because of what you see and because what you think your value is, right? And you don't want to go through this quote unquote struggle love, and you don't want to deal with quote unquote the potential. So it's like where where do you draw the line and where is it to where alignment, complementary lifestyle comes into play versus you being able to what be versus you being able to do what you want to do if you decide to deal with the man or with the person? Right. And so I I think that's kind of where we are. We'll we'll take uh uh you know, we'll take a pause and we'll do this uh uh part two. But I want to go ahead and put this out there uh for our social media family. I want you to talk about a little bit about, you know, do you believe that there should be just a standard of gender roles?
Listener Questions And Part Two Setup
SPEAKER_01Yes. And I'm and I want to see it, and this is for guys and women. And uh another thing, women, if if you make a certain amount of money, if if you make more than your counterpart, should you pay the majority of the bills then? Should you pay the higher amount of bills?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think so. No, I ain't gonna say that. Whatever, whatever y'all discuss is the best thing. But I will mention, like, I mean, that's one of those things. If you would expect a man to do it if he was making more, so why wouldn't the woman do it? Like, this is the things that we attach to, oh, this is what a man's supposed to do, this is what a woman's supposed to do. So yeah, if you making more money, you shouldn't have a problem covering the bills if it's you know what I mean, if it's equal and equality and all that good stuff.
SPEAKER_01That's all that's all I'm saying, man. We're gonna explore this, we're gonna get uh a lot of you guys' feedback, and we'll take it into the next episode, the part two. Uh, do you believe in gender roles uh in in 2026? Uh and and I love it, man. We're gonna have a great conversation. Uh, we'll continue to do this. And look, catch up. If you've missed episodes, go back, catch up until you get to uh the next episode Pops and Sun Conversations. As always, it's your favorite duo, why I'm a lawyer favorite fox.
SPEAKER_00Hey, check three times checking out.
SPEAKER_01We'll see you next episode.
